Rule 12
by Celeste.J.Evans
Summary: Alphabet series centered around Tiva caring, loving and being there for each other. Gibbs said "never date a co-worker" but he obviously never meant Tony and Ziva.
1. Chapter 1

**While I'm officially starting this fic tomorrow I thought I'd actually explain what this is.**

Oh, hi! *waves awkwardly* I'm **Celeste** if you're just tuning in. I mainly write in the Castle fandom but every once in a while I venture into other shows that I love. This is one such occasion.

**Every summer for the last...four years (wow), I chose a show and a canon couple and write an Alphabet series everyday based on a theme. One year it was 26 flowers** (_Flower Child_: Snowing: Once Upon a Time) **another time it was 26 fruits** (_Fruit Flies_: Caskett: Castle). **This year I'm doing Tiva.**

**Everyday** (well 26 days)** in the month of July I'm going to write and post a story based on a theme. This years theme is a bit weird but I'm excited about it. First of all, instead of using the English alphabet, I'm using the Hebrew Alphabet which only has 22 letters but I doubled up on a few letters so we have 26 prompts. They're all taken from the Hebrew Bible but they aren't really religious words, they're just cool. I chose Tiva because I love their dynamic and hopefully I'll stay in character as I write these.**

**So starting tomorrow** (July 1st) **I'll be here everyday this month.**

**I've never written an NCIS fic before so hopefully you guys like it (and review). And I'll see you tomorrow.**

**You can follow my on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com


	2. At Lo Levad

**And so we begin with Day One. It's July First (Canada Day, yay!) so we begin with Rule 12. Of course I had to start with a really hard one. Because it is such an iconic (can I say iconic if it didn't come up until half way through season 10?) line that holds such meaning. But it starts with the first letter so it had to be done. Shall we?**

**You can follow my on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**At Lo Levad - You are not alone**

"Tony I've told you a thousand times: this is not necessary." Ziva's protests could be heard long before the door opened and she followed her partner through his apartment door. "It's much simpler for me to stay in a hotel for the next few days. In fact I had a room booked."

The Italian agent hefted her bag – which he'd held captive all the way here – onto the floor, groaning exaggeratedly at the little she'd packed for her time away. "And I told you that there's no need, I have a spare bed and you shouldn't be wasting your money on a hotel room while your place is being fumigated anyways."

She playfully glared at him before snatching up her bag "You just want to carpool with me."

"I'm just thinking about mother nature." She carried her bag down the hallway, hiding her smile as Tony called "she would want us to drive together this week."

He'd be lying if the thought of Ziva David sleeping in the other room didn't keep him up that night. She wasn't here because she had to – like last time, which he didn't like to think about – and there was no active case to distract them from the fact that they were sleeping together.

In the same apartment. Sleeping in the same apartment.

He groaned, running a tired hand over his face. The things she did to him. He sat up when he heard an indistinguishable noise coming from the spare bedroom. It was probably just nothing. Until he heard it again and it was distinguishable as a groan – a whimper – coming from the other room. If asked, he did _not_ run but he may have jogged quickly to the closed bedroom door at the end of the hall. He hesitated only a moment before knocking and was met with silence. So he paused a moment longer, standing in the relative darkness and silence of the apartment, until he heard another groan – whimper – from the other side and he slowly opened the door.

Ziva was sprawled on the bed, the sheets curled around her side while she slowly, painfully turned side to side. Her whimpers were a little too much to bear so he entered the room, stepping on the one creaky floorboard in the entire apartment. Yes, he jumped when she suddenly shot up out of sleep, looking very ready to maim whoever had disturbed her. "Tony?" She squinted into the darkness, barely making out his shape. No, he was not thinking about how cute she looked with her messy hair and gravelly voice because he _was_ still worried about her.

"I didn't realize you were still having nightmares." _Nice, Tony_.

"I'm not." She turned her head, settling back on the bed, turning away from him. "I-Just go back to bed, Tony, leave me alone."

Fine, he would…no, wait. He turned back to her. "Ziva," she opened her eyes but didn't dare look back at him "you're not alone."

"I know, you've said"

"I know I've said it before but I don't think you understand." Why couldn't he step over the damn threshold? Look her in the eye when he told her this? _Wimp_. "You are not alone. I'm here for you." She held her breath, her body stiff from indecision. Why couldn't she just turn around and look him in the eye? _Wimp_. "For whatever you need. A bed to sleep in, a shoulder to cry on, an arm to punch – although not too hard I-I bruise pretty easily." That brought a smile to her face; _he_ brought a smile to her face. "Whatever you need from me, Ziva, just ask." He stared at her back a moment longer but she couldn't find the right words so he turned to leave.

"Tony," he stepped back into the room to find her sitting up in bed, staring at the wall, finding the courage to meet his eyes. He waited. Slowly, _slowly_, they found their way to him. "Thank you. For letting me stay. With you."

He gave her that croaked smile and she _did not_ smile back because he was charming and she was melting in this groggy state. "Anytime." He kept watching her, kept waiting, kept wondering if she had more to say. She wondered the same. She swallowed, her throat closing around her heart as she spoke. "The nightmares don't come very often anymore. He-my father is always on my mind. And in my heart."

"As he should be." He cleared his throat, brightening the whole room with his tone. "But listen, next time you can't sleep just come and find me; I know plenty of ways to keep from having bad dreams." He winked and she scoffed but their eyes never parted.

"Ugh, good night, Tony."

He took his time, slowly smiling and staring back at her with this expression he saved just for her. Bright and gentle yet carried so much weight behind it from unspoken affection that, maybe, didn't need saying. "Good night, Ziva."

There was a moment, a flickering moment, when their eyes locked and she asked him to stay and he said yes and they held each other until her alarm went off and they went to work together. But that moment passed and he nodded curtly before stepping back out into the hallway, leaving her door open this time, and returning to his bedroom.

Neither got much sleep that night.


	3. Boged

**This one is not so much Tiva, as much as good, workplace fun. I was struck down yesterday afternoon by the gods of illness so I hope there weren't too many mistakes. I wanted it to be fun. Enjoy!**

**Oh and thank you to everyone who followed, favourite and reviewed. I'm so glad you guys like it.**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**Boged - Traitor**

She was early – she was always early. Call it Mossad training, call it fresh starts; Ziva David was a morning person. It seems, this morning, she had arrived before her two partners which meant glorious peace and quiet for at least a few moments. As she sat at her desk she caught sight of a butt poking out from underneath McGee's desk, wriggling and shifted as it reached further. She'd know that butt anywhere.

"Tony?" The agent shot up faster than she'd ever seen him, jumping up with a little bounce in his step and then suddenly stopping to hold his stomach. "What are you doing to McGee's desk?"

He smirked as she slowly returned to his previous place, making his last minute tinkerings and twistings. "Getting a little revenge that's all. Ah!" He popped back up, twisting an Allen Key on his finger.

"Why are you so…energetic this morning?" She wrinkled her nose; even _she_ was not this excited in the mornings.

"Went for a run before I came in."

"Tony, it is six-thirty in the morning, when would you have had time to go for a run?"

"_Before_ I came here. That's how time works." Oh, he was using his hands now, he was _really_ energetic. "You have you have your before, your after, and your during. For example I had to be at work _before_ Timmy."

She sighed. She was going to regret this. "What did McGee do to you this time?"

He sat back in his chair, smoothing his tie and his suit jacket, not meeting her eye. Oh, it was something bad, she decided. He finally met her eye with a look of utter betrayal. "Yesterday McFlabby mentioned that I'd gained weight, and we both know he's the one who's gained a few McPounds so I'm just reminding him of that."

"Buy loosening a few screws?" She rolled her eyes.

"When he comes in to work, his chair will be no match for that gigantic butt."

"Why does it matter if you may have gained a few…pounds."

His grave expression was absolutely hilarious but she kept the smile off her face. "So you've noticed, too."

"What is the big deal," she pulled out a granola bar from her bag and pulled a piece away "I thought some women liked a man with…beef on his bones."

"The expression is _meat_ on his bones and I'm sure there are women out there, just not any that I know."

She popped the granola in her mouth, her eyes never leaving Tony's "You know me."

Yes, he opened his mouth to ask just what she meant by that statement, but he was saved by the elevator opening and a rather invigorated McGee walking through, his bag swinging either way. "Good morning, team." He smiled and the pair watched him.

Ziva smiled at him, "And why are you so peppy this morning?"

"Hot date last night?" Tony snickered.

"This morning actually," he placed his bag at his desk but sat on the edge of his desk to tell his story. "I ran into an old friend from high school last night and we went back to her place and stayed up all night talking."

Tony cocked an eyebrow. "Talking, talking or _talking_, talking? Wait, look at who I'm talking to." He sat up to watch McGee, stand and turn towards his chair. "So what's her name? Barbra, Margie, Sandra?"

"Marina."

"Marina," Tony wrinkled his nose "that's actually a hot girl name."

Tim smirked. "I know." Oh, his butt was inches away. So close, so close!

"Do not sit down McGee, go and get another chair." Ziva didn't even look up from the paperwork she'd apparently begun but didn't miss the glare Tony shot her way.

"Traitor." He muttered, compelling McGee to stand up straighter.

"Tony, what did you do to my chair?"

"Nothing gravity wouldn't have done eventually, McPudgy."

McGee rolled his eyes, walking over to "Oh please, Tony, this is about what I said yesterday? I was just teasing."

"Words can hurt, McGee." Gibbs strolled in like he'd been waiting all morning to say that line – when had he gotten in? When had he left last night? "Grab your gear."

Ziva smiled at her boys, grabbing her coat. "Are you two going to kiss and make up before we get going?"

They paused to look each other up and down before shaking their heads and speaking simultaneously. "No."


	4. G'milut Chasadim

**Another little Tiva moment at work (yay). Your guys' reviews are making me smile, keep 'em coming. I'm doing my best to make it believable in the context of the show which means there won't be any grand declarations of love or sappy little romance scenes - that's not really them - so the challenge is to show how much they love each other without them saying it. Ahh! The challenges of being a writer. Also, if anyone's curious, I'm about to murder the murder of crows that has taken up residence in my neighbour's backyard. I may be having some sleep-deprived anger issues to work through with these birds. **

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**G'milut Chasadim** – Acts of compassion

Tony had been annoyingly quiet all day, reflective and zoning out to the point that Gibbs was any excuse to get him out of the office. Sending him to check on Ducky's progress on their latest case may be have been cruel – to Ducky – but he nodded to Ziva who ran after the elevator and slipped in before Tony could protest. They rode silently for a floor before asked "Are you going to tell me what is wrong?"

"I've told you, there's nothing wrong." He gritted his teeth. Why was she bothering with him?

"Tony" He startled when she flicked the stop button on the elevator and turned to him in the dim light. "what is wrong?"

He looked down at her, her browns eyed wide and waiting. So patient and worried for him. He had to answer. He sighed "It's Katie."

"Katie." She rolled around the name on her tongue until her face came to mind. "The woman you have been seeing."

"Saw. Past tense." He let out a nervous chuckle. "She uh she dumped me this morning."

"I am sorry." Not really. Katie was a bit…high maintenance?

"It was so funny she said I 'wasn't committed to the relationship'. That I didn't care."

She pursed her lips. "You have been busy with work"

"No she said I lack compassion in all things and I was 'purposely refusing to invest in the relationship just to hurt her.' Can you believe it?" His tone was still dark. Like maybe…he did believe it.

"She hurt you." Ziva reasoned.

But Tony shrugged, "I never really liked her, she was right about that much. She was there and I needed"

"Stability." She finished.

He nodded slowly, uncomfortable that he was so comfortable sharing these pieces of himself with her. But Ziva was his best friend and besides: she had _ways_ to make him talk. "Yes. It was nice to have plans outside of work. Haven't done that in a while." He twisted his face and fell back into him mind, remembering little pieces of Katie that he might actually miss. Actually dating and not just having sex was… "It was nice. And she uh brought up some interesting things when she was kicking me out. That whole thing about compassion? A thinker."

Ziva looked at him in disbelief. She would have laughed at his pathetic stance had it not been…Tony; standing there, hurt. "You are not taking her insults so seriously are you?"

"She is a therapist."

"I thought you said she was a life coach?"

"Life coach, therapist: they're always telling what to do."

She shook her head "Tony"

"That whole thing about lacking compassion, bogus right?"

"Tony"

"I mean yeah I'm not the most sensitive person but"

"Tony!"

He jumped at looked her in the eyes for the first time. "What?"

"You are a good man." The silence fell lightly over them and her voice was so soft only he would ever hear it.

He followed her quiet example. "What?"

Her hand fell to his chest, just above his heart, and she concentrated all her energy on that spot – that beating heart – instead of looking into those eyes that were watching her so intently. "You are...selfish, immature, stubborn, annoying as hell… but you are a good man." She patted his chest and knew his eyes were still watching her like she was the only one in the room – wait, she _was _the only one in the room; focus, Ziva. "You are compassionate and sweet when you choose to be." She didn't mean to but she looked back up at him and couldn't look away. Magnets didn't have as strong a pull when he was looking at her so intently, like he saw the hidden meaning in every word. "Any woman you choose to commit to is lucky. Do not let this one get in the way of remembering that."

His hand touched hers, just holding it to his chest by the heat of his skin. "I may need help remembering sometimes."

The words came slowly but she couldn't stop a single one as they tumbled from her mouth while a smile played on her lips. "I am happy to remind you, from time to time."

The trance was not broken but she needed the constant hum of the elevator to keep from doing something she'd regret so she used the hand not holding Tony's heart to flick the elevator back on. And they rode the rest of the way down in silence, only moving when they landed on Ducky's floor when she dropped her hand and he grabbed it for just a moment so she would look at him before they had to go back to the real world.

"Thank you." he whispered.

Her eyes dropped and she opened her mouth before she stopped breathing all together and more soft words came out as the elevator opened and she stalked ahead of him. "You are welcome, Tony."


	5. Da'at

**This one is coming to you a little later in the day because...well it was _hard_. It was a hard prompt and I'm a little worried that it's not as in character but hopefully you guys will still like it. Also, I had originally thought this one was going to be a lot lighter than it actually was so I apologize. But anyways, I'll be back tomorrow with another prompt while I go enjoy the last of the sunshine.**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**Da'at** – Knowledge

"Gear up, you two." Ziva and Tony instantly reached for their bags but Gibbs' look stopped them in their tracks. "Not that kind of gear." He approached the pair who looked more than a little concerned. He produced a small, black velvet box and handed it to Tony. "It's traditionally the man who gives it to the woman." He slapped the boy's back and walked back to his desk with a smirk that only McGee saw.

Tony – and Ziva, for that matter – still had their eyes glued to the box in the agent's hand. "Boss?"

"Open it up, I think you know what to do with it." The pair stared at each other, then back to the box, then back to each other; and then finally back to the box where Tony flipped open the case and the world stopped for just a moment. A set of gold rings, perfect circles. Wedding rings.

What?

"Boss?" DiNozzo's voice was a little more higher pitched when matched with David's own panicked "Gibbs?"

Their valiant leader looked up from his desk, shot them an incredulous look, then returned to his file. "You two wanted to get closer to Mathison. He runs a marriage counseling retreat every summer. You leave tomorrow." More looking, more gaping, more panicking hearts as Tony DiNozzo gave Ziva David her wedding ring.

The cabin in the woods feel was nice if not stereotypical of a gathering of middle-aged couples only half-heartedly wanting to reconnect. And then there was Tony and Ziva who checked in and ran to room in the three story "cabin" that looked more mansion than backwoods. As Ziva unpacked and Tony raided the fridge, they chatted back and forth.

"You know," Tony groaned, finding nothing worth eating, "we should probably come up with some answers for when we do the meet and great. They're going to expect us to know _something_ about each other."

She tossed him her classic saucy smirk over her shoulder. "We know lots of things about each other."

"Things married people would know. Little things." He crashed down on the double bed that was, admittedly, quite comfortable. "Like how did we meet?"

She paused. "I was a Mussad operative working under orders from my father to stop Gibbs from killing my brother."

"I meant, how did Ziva and Tony DiNardo meet? The martial arts instructor and the film teacher? What's their story?"

Ziva took placed the last shirt in the closet and slowly made her way to her side of the bed. She sat down at his head and looked at the wall in thought. "We…" she snapped her fingers "we met online."

He sat up so his laugh would be even more exaggerated. "Ha ha." His face fell. "No, I am not meeting you online."

"_You_ are not meeting me online_, Tony DiNardo_ is meeting me online."

"Still." He straightened. "Let's think of more likely options. I picked you up at a bar." It was her turn to laugh – though her voice was lighter and sweeter and Tony would never admit that he loved her laugh.

"No way would I go home with you if you used one of your cheesy pickup lines."

"Well, Mrs. DiNardo how _did_ we meet?"

There was a long silence and for a moment they weren't on the case, but they were and any romantic thoughts on either part were brought on by circumstance alone. "We met through a mutual friend."

"Tim."

"Yes, Tim. He knew we were both looking for a more serious relationship and so set us up together."

"What attracted you to me?"

She shot him _the look_; the one that said "are you kidding me, Tony?"

"I'm serious; obviously something attracted us to each other or we never would have gotten married."

She rolled her eyes, fair enough. "Your charm."

"Really?"

"Tony _DiNardo_ is charming and sweet and keeps his opinions to himself."

"Oh you're kidding me, right? You would never fall for a guy who's shy and demeaning."

"And I'd fall for a man who's loud, brazen; rude?"

"Hey, I am not rude."

She pursed her lips to keep from smiling. "No; loud, brazen but not rude."

Again they grew quiet and Tony imagined the soft, orchestral mood music that would have played had they been trapped in a sad romantic comedy. Underneath the melody their minds followed a simple pattern, toeing but not crossing the line between undercover and reality. It wasn't getting an easier while sitting so close together. "What about you?" She asked.

"What about me?"

"What attracted you to me?" And just like that, the line was three miles behind them but they didn't realize because their eyes hadn't parted in so long.

"Your strength."

"My muscle?" She scoffed. "Is everything about looks for you? See this is why it will never work because you are so much about the physical and"

"Your inner strength, Miss Negative." He all but growled. "I was talking about your inner strength. The bull-headed Israeli who didn't take crap from anyone knew how to get what she wanted."

She softened instantly. "Thank you, Tony."

"Well, and your outer strength. The lithe body, the muscles OOF" He definitely wasn't excepting a pillow in his face. Usually comments like that earned him a punch in the arm or the stomach. "You're softening up, Agent David."

She glared half-heartedly, tongue in cheek "I did not want to bruise you right before our meeting."

"Oh how kind of you." He tossed the pillow back and she returned it to its rightful place. "We still haven't figure out why we're here. What do we need counseling on?"

"Obviously it is your fault since I would never jeopardize such an important relationship."

"Really?" he scoffed "this coming from the woman who…" he thought better of her hurting her for the sake of an argument "never mind."

"No, please Tony, finish that sentence."

He studied her carefully, watching the darkness in her eyes warning him that if he made one wrong move, she'd pounce. "Look the point is, we've _both_ made mistakes in past relationships. We can't assume that we'll make the same one's this time."

Slowly, she shook her head. "I agree. So, what is our problem?"

The pause between breaths was much smaller this time. "Communication." He decided. "We don't talk."

"We're talking now." She knew she was only playing devil's advocate but the question became a matter of how far they could take it.

"Not about the important things. How you take your coffee, what your favourite season is, sure. But not about the things that really matter."

"Those things _do_ matter, Tony." Oh, her voice was too soft; this was getting dangerously close to a real conversation.

"Not as much as the really big stuff."

"Some things are better left unsaid."

"And some things are worth saying. Some things need to be said so both parties know where they stand." Knowledge was power, knowledge was strength; knowledge was scary.

"Tony" like clockwork, an alarm went off in someone's bag and without checking, Ziva swallowed. "It's time to go."

He stared at her with that look that said all she'd ever need to know and it terrified her now more than ever. Please, let it go, Tony. Leave it for another time. _Just like every other time they've come close to a real conversation_. "Yeah, we should go."

Maybe they did need the counseling.


	6. Derech Chaim

**Much shorter as there wasn't much to say on this one. Your reviews especially for the last one were fantastic. Brightened my day so thank you so much. This one is another little Tiva moment so enjoy! My computer is a little fritzy so I think it's time for a nap. Catch you guys on the flip side!**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**Derech Chaim** – Ways of Life

It was just the two of them. Well it wasn't always just the two of them but it was them now. The whole gang had been in the evidence locker going through old case files and cleaning out things the bureau no longer had room for. Gibbs was the first to leave, the air of sentimentality making him a little nauseous. Within the hour it was just Tony and Ziva alone in the cold basement of NCIS, sorting through the past.

"No hot date tonight?" Tony didn't look up from the pile he was sorting through but Ziva paused to look up at him, her eyes curious and wandering over him.

"No I do not. Where is your _hot _date?" She smirked.

Tony's head shot up, tilting his head uncomfortably "I'm working, I don't have time to date."

She scoffed. "That is new. Usually you are falling hand and foot to be with a beautiful woman."

He was still looking at her intently, something on the tip of his tongue that made her nervous. But it was swept away in a sea of evidence bags and a cocky smile. "Well look at this picture." He held it out until curiosity got the better of her and she came to him. They looked at the picture together; a photo of a younger Ziva David in a swimsuit coming out of a hotel swimming pool. "The first day we met. Remember this?"

"I remember thinking you would have made a very poor spy." She smirked up at him.

"To be fair, I was spying on you, Agent Ninja."

"You're right," her face lit up with her smile "it was unfair."

"I was looking more at the picture itself, anyways, look at you." Oh he was definitely enjoying this trip down memory lane. "All that wild and untamed hair. And look," he pointed to the eyes "you can even see the crazy eyes."

She gaped at him, barely resisting the urge to slap him upside the head. "I did not have crazy eyes."

As usual, he ignored her protests and continued on with his daydream. "Sometimes I miss the old, rougher Ziva. The one who read dirty magazines, rated my butt, grabbed me and kissed me in that hotel room."

She smirked up at him, falling into her hip. "We were undercover."

"We were under a lot of covers that weekend as I recall." He sighed. She rolled her eyes. "Good times." He shook his head, standing straighter as he came back to reality. "Point is you've changed since we met and sometimes I miss the old you."

Oh he did, did he? She was going to mess with his head so hard. "The old me?" He nodded. Why was she doing this? This was a bad idea. "The one who could do this" she gripped the back of his neck and the lapels of his jacket and pulled him down to her. Their lips met in a head spinning, knee-weakening, take me against the wall kiss that made her moan. He didn't respond right away, it took a moment for his body to catch up with the rest of him but he pushed back with as much as she gave, wrapping around her more out of habit than a need to keep her close when she had no intention of moving. It didn't last long but it was enough to knock him senseless. She pulled back with a pop. "and have it mean nothing? You miss her?" Wait, what was she talking about? The old Ziva…mean nothing… wait, what?

By the time he regained his senses she had returned to her station, sifting through the past, not offering him a second glance. Except for the briefest moment when their eyes met and they smiled at went back to their  
work. He kept the photo for those days when he needed reminding that the past held nothing to the future.


	7. Dibbur Emet

**This one is a bit different. I wanted to see if I could tell the story using nothing but dialogue because this is one of those moments where they would just forget everything else and be in the moment with each other. Let me know if it makes sense. Other than that, I'm just grateful for the reviews and everyone who's tuned in. You're all awesome.**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**Dibbur Emet - **Speak Truth

"What the _hell_ were you thinking?"

"I was thinking you needed back up. Running around doing stupid things is usually my job."

"It still is. I had everything under control until you came in and nearly got yourself _shot_."

"Everything under control? I came in and you were on the floor bleeding from that giant hole in your shoulder."

"And as a result you had to go bat-stir crazy and shoot everyone in the room?"

"The term is"

"I don't care what the term is, I care that you…you are going to get yourself killed. Or worse, someone else. How could you have been so reckless?"

"Says the woman who went into a room full of armed men without her partner. Partners are supposed to have each other's backs."

"I can handle myself; I need a partner who does what he's supposed to."

"That's not a partner, that's a lapdog."

"Is that what this is about? You think I'm mistreating you?"

"No. This is about you…"

"What, Tony? What is this actually about?"

"Fine you want the truth?"

"Yes!"

"The truth is…

"You can't even say it."

"Oh, because you've said it already?"

"I do not need to say it."

"The hell you don't. This isn't just about me."

"No it is not. This is about you…and I."

"There is no you and I."

"And that is precisely the point."

"Ziva."

"Yes, Tony?"

"…"

"That is what I thought."

"Why do we need to say it; we've never said it before."

"Because we almost died, again. And because someone once said that some things don't need to be said, but they are worth saying."

"Sounds like a pretty smart guy."

"He is alright."

"Alright? You're totally in love with him."

"And he is in love with me."

"Do you ever think you'll be able to say it to each other?"

"Perhaps..perhaps it does not need saying after all. We know the truth."

"Yes, we do. But is it enough?"

"For now.

"And when it stops being enough?"

"We will cross that bridge when we come to it."

"Why can't we cross it now?"

"Because there is still too much pain."

"Is your shoulder hurting?"

"No; my shoulder is fine."

"Come home with me?"

"Wha"

"There's a Lana Turner marathon on Movie Central I think you'd like it."

"Alright. I have to sign out."

"Great, I'll go get the car."

"Tony?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you; for being my partner today."

"Course."


	8. Hashavat Avedah

**Sorry, I got distracted by Michael Weatherly interviews. I noticed yesterday's story got 50/50 reviews so some time this week I'll write out and post the full version of "Tell the Truth" with description and characters so look for that. This is based on the bucket list Tony had in Season 9 that's posted on the CBS website. I kind of squealed when I read the list so I had to use it for something. Check you guys on the flip side :)**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**Hashavat Avedah** – Returning lost things

He tumbled out of sleep when there was a knock at his door at…1 A.M.? Granted he had been up watching a _Fast and Furious_ Marathon and was just dozing but seriously. Who made house calls at one o'clock in the morning? On high alert, he jumped – well, fell – off the couch when the knocking started again. He picked himself up off the floor carefully and made his way to the peephole where he paused. What was Ziva David doing at his apartment door looking nervous, shifting her weight and barely maintaining eye contact with the door for longer than a few seconds?

He opened the door.

"Agent David, what are you doing at my door at one in the morning?"

"Hi Tony." Uh oh, that was her 'I'm mad at you but I don't want you to know yet' voice. A little too soft and sweet to be sincere. He may still be sleep deprived but she still looked nervous. Yes, he was dreaming. He was dreaming that Ziva was at his door looking like she wanted to run away and rip his head off simultaneously.

Oh god, she was still standing there. "Uh…come in."

"Thanks," she ducked into the apartment and he caught sight of something big and black behind her back.

"What's that?"

She blinked before shaking her head and offering it to him. "It's your coat." He carefully took it, too on edge to argue with her now. "I was cleaning out my closet and I found it and thought I should return it to you."

He dropped the coat over the back of the couch. "At one 'o clock in the morning?"

"You are up."

"And apparently so are you." She nodded but said nothing, the silence filling the gaps in logic. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Yes." She answered without thinking – and loudly. "Please." No Ziva, you don't want coffee, you're not going to be staying that long. "Tony, I do not want any coffee." There was a voice in his head screaming that he needed to start running now because whatever she was pulling out of her coat pocket could only mean trouble. "I also found this."

And there it was: the piece of paper that spelt his doom. He paused, much more hesitant to take it. "What is that?"

"It's a…bucket list."

A bucket list? The bucket list? Oh crap, she was here to kick his ass. "A bucket list?"

"_Your_ bucket list." She offered to him and he took it. "I thought you would want it back."

He tucked it into the…he had no pockets, double crap. He held the list in his hands, standing before her in just a pair of pajama bottoms. "Thanks."

She needed to do something with her hands. They went behind her back before he noticed just how much she was fidgeting. "Have you crossed anything else off that list?"

She read the list? Danger, Will Robinson! "I haven't really looked at it in a while."

"So you haven't…" she cleared her throat "talked to your father?"

Number Ten: Tell Dad It's Okay. "No. Not about that."

"Or learnt a Martial Art?"

Number One: Master the Art of Kung Fu. "I know a martial art, I just haven't mastered it yet."

"You haven't…gotten that recipe from Gibbs?"

Number Seventeen "Get and pass on Gibbs' recipe for steak. "They're good but I don't know if I want to know what he puts in them."

That earned a smile from her but it didn't last long enough to spread to her eyes.

"So you haven't told her." The biggest question that didn't have a question mark.

Number Twenty-Six. "No I…haven' told her." She nodded, swallowing any other non-questions that might lead down a dangerous road. They both continued the conversation in their head and it ended in disaster on both ends so they remained silent until Tony's mouth ran away with him, too curious – and concerned – to care just uncomfortable they both were. "Why were you up?"

"I was cleaning out my closet."

"Why were you up cleaning out your closet?" She opened her mouth but she wouldn't let the words escape. He guessed. No, guessing would imply that he didn't know her. And he did. He knew her too well. "You were thinking about Kelly."

She visibly melted knowing that he got it and she wouldn't have to admit that it was getting to her. "She was so very young." Their latest victim hit a little too close to home for Ziva. "It's not fair."

"It never is. But we got justice for her."

"That will not bring him back."

He didn't call her on her sip of the tongue. He just stepped forward, all trace of awkwardness gone. She needed comfort, that's all there was to it. "No, it won't. But we have to keep going. Find justice for as many as we can."

"I just wish it got easier."

He ran his hands down her arms, caressing her shoulders in as close to comfort as he dared. "Have someone else helps." He dipped his head so they were eyelevel. "Someone to talk to." Anything she wanted. He would offer anything to keep that sad look from her eyes.

"Thank you, Tony." Her voice was so small but she still had the strength to keep from reaching out to him. "I should get going."

"Do you want to stay?" She looked up when they spoke simultaneously.

"Stay?"

He indicated the couch and muted television. "I was in the middle of a _Fast and Furious_ marathon. Hot cars, hot girls." She opened her mouth to protest but he turned her towards the couch, refusing to give her a choice. "Come on." She let him lead her to the living room area where they say on the couch, thighs touching but the air between them was too thick to feel anything through.

He unmuted and sat back beside his partner who stared at the television through the last of the commercials, not quite able to look at him. "Tony," he looked over at her but she didn't meet his eyes "will you ever tell her."

He stared at her a long, weighted moment before he responded, turning back to the television "One day."

She nodded, giving in to her need and falling into him, her head landing on his shoulder. She fell asleep to the smell of his cologne and the feel of his bare skin against hers. When he felt her breathing even out, he unwrapped the paper that was still in his fist and stared at the list. The bucket list that he'd written almost two years ago and still hadn't put a dent in. As he closed his eyes, he made a mental note to call his dad this week, just to talk. Maybe he'd put some effort into completing the more realistic parts of his list. Maybe dating a Bond Girl was out of the question but there were some that would just take a little time.

19. Discuss Paris.

26. Tell her.


	9. Ve'ahvatem et Ha-Ger

**This is a just a short, weird, little ditty to get you through your Monday. What I really want to tell you is that the full version of the one shot "Truth" is posted. It's called "Tell Me The Truth" if you want to go read and review it. Other than that, you guys are awesome and I'm going to go do the dishes. Ciao!**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**Ve'ahvatem et Ha-Ger** – You shall love the stranger

Oh, Ziva David looked very uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable indeed as she barreled through the elevator doors and straight to Tony's desk without checking to see what poor Agent was left in her wake. He smiled up at her and she wanted to claw his face to shreds. But that would be unprofessional and probably get her in more trouble. "What can I do for you, Agent David?"

He was going to make her say it. The smug little look on his face said that he knew very much how he could help her. She was going to _kill_ him. No, she was going to chop up his body into little pieces and feed it to the drug-sniffing dogs. "Tony."

"That is my name." She raised her hand and swore under her breath but did not pursue such worthy endeavors.

"I need…" she cringed "your help."

"What can I do for you?"

She blinked at his willingness to help but she wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. "I got another speeding ticket." He raised an eyebrow in response but wisely didn't comment. "And my license has been suspended."

This time he did raise his hands and she was that closer to smacking him. "Hallelujah, justice has finally prevailed."

"I was barely going over the speed limit." She muttered sharply, slapping her hands on his desk.

"Whatever you say, Miss Gonzales." He shifted in his chair, meeting her head on. "So let me guess, you need a ride? I'm happy to chauffer you around. For a price, of course."

She rolled her eyes, biting back all retorts that involved him and what his comments would cost him. "No I do not need a ride. I will find my own way to work without starting my day with you."

"Then what do you need from me?"

"I need…your advice." She gave in and came around to sit on his desk. "On top of taking the mandatory driving course…I have to do community service." She leaned in to whisper "and I have never done it before."

To his credit, he didn't jump for joy and announce to the entire department that Ziva David was asking for his help. Instead he gave out a squeak and covered his mouth in a mock show of surprise. "Never before have you done your part for the community?"

"Not in a non-voluntary position, no. I don't know what to do."

"Well the trick is to not play bumper cars with the other vehicles on the road." Grabbing a pen from his collection by his computer, she flicked him, making him jump and duck for cover. "Hey, you asked for help."

"And that is my own fault." She pushed off his desk and sat at her own, shaking her head. "I just thought since you have so much experience with this that you might be able to help me."

He stared at her a long moment before inwardly sighing and mirroring her earlier position. "What do you have to do?"

"I have to…" She hesitated before looking up "volunteer at a homeless shelter."

It didn't take him long to catch on, especially when he saw her tongue come between her teeth in an adorable gesture of jest. "Oh I get it. Because of the _undercover work_ I've done as a bum last week." He gave out a laugh, tossing a pen her way only to have her catch it. "That's cute."

She slapped her hands on her desk as she rose. "Yes. It was. But now I have to go." She hadn't had a chance to put her things down so clean up was a breeze. "Can you cover for me?"

"Wait, where are you going?"

"I have my community service hearing in an hour." She tossed over her shoulder as the elevator doors opened. "And then a date with a parole officer." She winked. "Just doing my public service for the community."

"All of that was real?" He called after her.

She let out a laugh as the elevator doors closed, leaving Tony wondering what the hell had just happened.


	10. Zechut Avot

**I'm glad you guys are liking this story. It keeps me going when the stories are a bit harder to write. This one was just hard because I had to find a way to make it as least depressing as possible while talking about fathers on a show that shows fathers in such a dark light for various reasons. Hopefully it comes through that way.**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**Zechut Avot** – The merits of the father

Ziva returned from the break room with a fresh cup of coffee to find her partner slamming his phone roughly against the cradle

"I take it you finally got a hold of your father?"

"Oh yeah; I go down, arrange it all with Personnel, get the days off so we could take that _big trip_ to Italy, and he says 'sorry, Junior, something came up." He pushed off his desk, leaning back in his chair to sulk. "Fathers suck."

McGee shook his head, not looking up from his computer. "At least your father isn't sick and still calls to criticize your work ethic."

Ziva hummed in acceptance but said nothing, busying herself with whatever work was before her. He felt like such an ass. "I'm sorry, Ziva." McGee paused to look up at his co-worker, cringing at his mistake.

"No," She picked up ever so casually, like it didn't sting a little bit to think about her father's passing. "It was very rude of your father. And McGee's father." She nodded to her friends "Just because my father is gone does not mean I have not done my share of complaining. Fathers are… difficult men to love. Even after they are gone." She sipped her coffee, purposefully ignoring the sympathetic eyes of Tony from across the room. "We must love our fathers even when they do not know how to love us."

He swallowed, sitting forward to lean against the desk. "You're right." She tried to smile but failed so she returned to her paperwork. It didn't take long for her to look back up to get the heat of Tony's gaze off her neck. He wet his lips and mouthed 'sorry'.

She did smile sadly this time, mouthing 's'okay' before standing and grabbing her cell phone. "If you'll excuse me, I have a phone call to make."

The holiday season came around and Tony wasn't as anxious to use those off-hours he'd struggled so hard to get. So Christmas Eve rolled around and there he was, along with his two partners, chained to their desk, volunteering to work the holiday shift. No sense in letting people who actually _have_ lives work through the holidays.

"I thought you would be half way around the world by now." Ziva looked up from her desk. "Can't believe you are working through your holiday."

Tony stretched casually, not meeting her eyes. "Well, I didn't really have anywhere else to be."

"No plans?"

"No," was he sighing? "Italy with dad was sort of my backup plan. When he bailed" he shrugged "I had no reason to go."

She was quiet for a long moment until he looked up to see her smile slyly. "I am going to get a cup of coffee. Would you like some?"

He sat up slowly, watching her. "Ziva David offering me coffee?"

"It is the holiday season; can't I do something nice for a… friend?"

Tony watched her eyes. She was hiding something but it wasn't about coffee so he cocked an eyebrow. "Two sugars."

With a nod she was gone. In the next moment the elevator opened and an older gentleman in a Santa hat with a box of cookies on his arm sauntered through with the biggest smile on his face. "Hey Junior, Merry Christmas."

Tony jumped from his seat; startled, amazed, suspicious that his dad was suddenly standing at his desk like he hadn't cancelled their plans. "Dad?! What are you doing here?"

"I heard you were working Christmas Eve so I thought I'd come and keep you company."

He came around to greet his dad but still didn't believe it. "But you…you said you had plans. You cancelled our trip."

Senior shrugged with that casual smile that irritated Tony if only because it matched his own. "Well, I figured it's Christmas and I should spend it with my son."

His mind wandered to his Israeli partner and he suddenly softened. "Thanks for coming, Dad."

"You should be thanking your girlfriend."

He froze. Uh, what? "My girlfriend?"

"Ziva called me. Gave me an earful about family and holidays." He smiled. "I couldn't really say no to her."

Tony stopped; blinked. "Ziva called you?"

"Yeah. I guess she wanted it to be a surprise." He opened the tin and presented it to his son. "Cookie?"

Tony stared down at the box, his appetite all but gone. His mind was racing with excuses and explanations that could only be answered by one person. "Can you, stay here. Just one second."

"Sure thing," DiNozzo Senior turned to McGee with that same friendly smile. "Tim can keep me company."

"Of course, Mr. DiNozzo."

The next second, Tony was gone. He reappeared in the break room, looming behind his partner as she was pouring too much sugar in a coffee cup. "What, Tony?" From behind all he heard was the melodic annoyance in her voice but completely missed the smile on her face.

"You called my dad."

She turned to face him, her features schooled. "I do not know what you are talking"

"He's here." He blurted, his face a mixture of excitement, curiosity and…awe? "He said you called him. Why?"

Her expression softened, not meeting his eyes. "I did not want you to be alone for Christmas."

"I wouldn't have been alone."

Oh, the subtext was thick in the air but all she could do was smile softly as she avoided his intense eye contact. Her eyes froze as they reached the ceiling. "I never understood the purpose of mistletoe."

He followed her gaze until it landed on the sprig of plant hanging just above their heads. Very subtle, universe. "It's a hemi-parasitic plant, traditionally indicated in modern times as a sign that two people underneath the plant should" she kissed his cheek, effectively shutting him up. "Uh…"

"I just never knew why you needed the plant." Still speechless he accepted the mug of coffee she offered him, that same soft smile on her lips. "Merry Christmas, Tony."

Finally he breathed, tilting his head to smile at her. "Merry Christmas, Ziva."


	11. Chad Gadiah

**I have to admit, this is pure fluff and I totally loved writing this. It's Wednesday, who doesn't need fluff half way through the week? **

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

* * *

**Chad Gadiah** – One little goat

The elevator chimed open and Timothy McGee looked up after being alone in the office for far too long. Tony sauntered in looking a little worse for wear. Exhaustion made him older and more panicked than Tim had ever seen him. "What took you so long bringing in the suspect?"

All eyes turned to Ziva as she followed Tony out of the elevator holding a small bundle of pink blankets in her arms. Underneath the blanks was a bubbling, cooing baby gripping Ziva's fingers tightly. Tony glanced back at his partner and then back to Tim who was still staring wide-eyed. "We went to the house to bring in Theresa Larkin for questioning only to find she has disappeared. No sign of forced entry but"

"we found this little girl crying in her crib upstairs." Ziva still hadn't taken her eyes off the baby since she stepped onto the floor, her voice softer and sweeter than any of the boys had heard before. "We figure Theresa was forced from her home and whoever it was didn't know or didn't care about this little one."

Tony kept watching Ziva watching the child, his eyes filled with a wonder he was desperately trying – and failing – to hide in professionalism. "We called the local PD, swept the scene and called child protective services. They'll be here in a few hours to pick up Claire."

Tim, still speechless at the scene, blinked a few times before looking back down at his desk, giving the pair a bit of privacy. "Oh."

Not that either of them noticed, standing between their desks, Ziva cradling and lightly bouncing the baby, Tony watching Ziva with that new, wondrous expression. Flash forward to a time when this wasn't someone else's child and they were allowed to look on with loving expressions. Neither realized they were doing it but Tony came up behind her and Ziva leaned into him and they were the perfect portrait.

Until poor Claire became unsatisfied with silence and began to wail enthusiastically.

Ziva rocked her a little more forcefully and Tony cringed as several agents paused to watch them struggle. "Um…"

"She's hungry." Leroy-Jethro Gibbs to the rescue as usual; sauntering in from out of nowhere at the last moment to get their heads on straight. "Go and find her some milk."

"On it boss." They chorused. But Gibbs snapped his fingers and they stopped in their tracks.

"DiNozzo go and find a bottle." Tony was gone before the sentence was finished. Long before Gibbs could approach his partner who was staring wide-eyed at her boss and curling the baby towards her. "Ziver," he muttered "why do you have a baby?"

Ziva swallowed. "She's our suspect's. Theresa Larkin is missing and we found her alone in the house. We brought her here to wait for Child Services."

Gibbs looked down at the child, almost smiling – well, as close as he got to smiling in the workplace – at the fact that Ziva had held her knuckle to the child's mouth who was suckling on it, soothing her until Tony returned with actual sustenance. "Okay." His voice was still calculated and calm, not disturbing the sated baby. "Where is our suspect."

Ziva winced, still rocking the baby softly, "she is…missing. I was going to put out a BOLO for the car as it is also… missing." From the look in his eyes, she knew that were it not for the child in her arms, Gibbs would be yelling at her. This was much worse: this menacing calm that had overtaken him.

"I would do that."

An hour later, Ziva abruptly stood from her desk after sitting in silence with a happy gurgling baby in her arms. Tony stood with her, startled by the move. "I can't stand it any longer." She declared coming around her desk and meeting Tony in the middle. "I have been holding her all morning." She held out the child to Tony who took her immediately. "I need to pee." Ziva was down the hallway before anyone could realize what happened; all except Claire who instantly began wailing at the absence of Ziva. _I hear you_, Tony thought with a chuckle.

"Come on." he held her awkwardly in his arms before looking up at Gibbs who had joined McGee in looking pointedly at him. "We're going to go over here, where it's quiet and dark." And then Tony was gone. Once in dimmer lighting the child seemed to calm a little bit, especially when Tony figured out that he needed to hold both ends of the baby properly. "There ya go." Tony smiled at her; he couldn't stop smiling at her. "Hey there." Unfortunately Claire didn't agree and continued to cry. He needed to calm her down and fast. Uhhh…a lullaby? Did he know any? Panicked, he could only think of one. "One little goat, one little goat/Which my father bought for two zuzim. One little goat, one little goat/The cat came, and ate the goat/Which my father bought for two zuzim." He continued to sing the lyrics as best he remembered while Claire quickly calmed and stared up at Tony with those wide brown eyes, so full of wonder. Eyes that seemed to have captured Tony's soul. He didn't notice Ziva coming up behind him and watch their interaction. He didn't notice the way she leaned against the stairs and observed the crinkle of his smile or the way Claire was gripping his finger while he bounced and swayed along with the song. He didn't notice how fast her heart was beating or how her chest swelled just thinking of how well Tony was handling this little girl.

He did notice when she stepped into their space and began to sing with him. "Chad gadya, chad gadya/ve-ata ha-Kadosh Baruch Hu/ve-shachat le-mal'akh ha-mavet, de-shachat le-shochet/de-shachat le-tora, de-shatah le-maya/de-khavah le-nura, de-saraf le-chutra/de-hikkah le-khalba, de-nashakh le-shunra, de-akhlah le-gadya/dizabin abba bitrei./Chad gadya, chad gadya." As they sang the last notes, Clarie's big brown eyes fell closed and she curled into Tony's arm, her body rising and falling as she slipped into slumber. Ziva, now right at Tony's side, watched the sleeping child wistfully, running a finger over her soft skin.

"Would you ever consider starting a family, Tony?"

He hummed, keeping his voice soft and low. "One day. And only with the right girl." He hazarded a glance at his partner who stared at him with the same, gentle understanding eyes, before he turned back to the baby. "I'd want one just like Claire."

Ziva breathed out a laugh, a puff of air stroking the girl's cheek. "Loud, like her father."

"And quick like her mother." Now his eyes were only for Ziva and she stared right back at him, allowing this one moment to pass between them without any fear of consequences.

"For what it's worth, I think you would make a great father, Tony." She smiled.

"So would you." He grin grew wider and he joined her in the silence, giving in to the fantasy for just a moment longer that this was their child they were holding.

Until McGee stepped quietly onto the scene. "Guys, Child Protective Services is downstairs, it's time to go."

Tony's eyes fell to Clair as Ziva turned to Tim with a sad smile, "Thank you, McGee." He nodded apologetically before leaving them alone once again.

"I don't want to say goodbye."

Ziva smiled, running another hand over the sleeping child's face. Her skin was so soft, so unblemished by the world. "We have to find her mother." She reminded gently.

"I know." Tony sighed, laughing to expel some emotion. "I gotta get me one of these."

This time Ziva couldn't meet Tony's eyes as he stared into her soul so instead she watched the baby in his arms, her heart aching. "One day." She promised.

_ With the right girl_, he thought with a smile.


	12. Tikkun Olam

**I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was at work all day and I stressed myself out and THEN I heard about Cote de Pablo not returning to NCIS so my day has just...sucked...**

**And I had this in my head all day but just got a chance to write it down. Yes it's a little darker - and INCREDIBLY short - and tomorrow's promises to be equally is not more depressing so I'm sorry guys. It's the alphabet.**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

* * *

**Tikkun Olam** – Repair the world

She found him just where she expected: a quiet corner just outside of the crime scene. Well, their second crime scene. The final show down with their bad guy. The first crime scene all those weeks ago had been…graphic to say the least. It had haunted many a nightmare amongst the crew that observed and processed the scene. And there was Tony, head in his hands, fighting against the urge to vomit (again). Ziva sat beside him, not touching, not needing to. He sensed her presence long before she leaned against her knees and looked out onto the grey cement abyss. He sensed her the moment she saw him across the crime scene, too haunted by her own nightmares to do more than sit beside him. All he ever needed was her company.

"We face death every day. You would think it would get easier."

Her hand flew to his shoulder but he still didn't look at her. He could feel her intense eyes, so full of concern and comfort. "No, Tony, it should not get easier. If it were easier, we would be no different than the criminals we catch every day."

"Don't you ever get sick of it?" He turned to her so suddenly and she didn't even flinch. "Don't you ever get sick of doing your job and protecting the innocent and going up against the bad guys – risking our _lives – _only to have to do it all over again the next day."

"Better us than someone who did not sign up for it."

He scoffed, too far into his nightmare to care. "Don't use that line on me."

She pressed her lips together to keep from smiling in that encouraging, _I'm humoring you_ way. She wasn't as good at this comforting thing as Tony was. She sighed, opting for the truth. She could handle that. "You're right. There are days when I do not want to face the world we live in. It is so dark and so…cruel. Some much innocence is lost." She let out a shaky breath but he didn't touch her. He just kept watching, waiting for the moment that would make him love her more. "But what we do _every day_, is important. We take the world we live in and we fix as many pieces as we can to keep the world from falling apart." She leaned into him, giving in to her urge to really touch him. "We cannot leave the world to its own devices."

His laugh was more a light breath released on a small smile but it was enough to give her hope. "I guess you're right. Who knows what would happen if we weren't around to save the day."

"The world would surely fall apart."

"Surely."

They watched each other, eyes tender and aching to be heard.

_Thank you for being here_

_I am always here for you_


	13. Yahrzeit

**Not as late as yesterday's (sorry about that) but still late. It can't be helped, I'm sorry guys. But it's here, it's Tiva and that's all I can offer you.**

**I also want to apologize to the people who didn't know - or didn't want to know - about Cote. That was entirely my mistake. Forgive me?**

**The Yahrzeit is the day of mourning according to the Jewish calendar which would place Ziva's father's death just before his actual death on the show. I really hope I got the facts right on this one. Please correct me if I'm wrong.**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

* * *

**Yahrzeit - **Day of Mourning

Ziva had been quiet all day. And not her usual 'I'm trying to work, Tony, shut up' sort of quiet. Something was weighing Ziva David down. And Tony was going to find out. He slid over to her desk, peering over her shoulder until she finally gave in.

"What, Tony?"

"What's bothering you?" Nothing like the direct approach.

"Besides you?" She snapped, flinching at his startled expression. "I'm sorry. I just…" she shook her head. "Not today."

He leaned closer, his lips so close to her ear she could feel him on her skin. "Look, if you want to talk"

"I don't want to talk, Tony." Her voice was dripping with warning, small but thick and fraught with pain. "I want you to leave me alone."

He couldn't understand her. She'd been acting fine all week but today? She had just been…off. Like she wasn't here. He knew the anniversary of her father's death was next week but…oh shoot.

Ziva watched his eyes widen as he realized what had happened, not blaming him but still needing her space. He bowed his head and stood. "I'm sorry. I'll leave you to it."

She followed him with her eyes, a mixture of regret, relief and a general, deep-seeded sadness shining there. She want to apologize for being so rude, she wanted to throw her stapler at him so he'd stop feeling sorry for her; she wanted to run into his arms and forget about it all. She lowered her head and continued with her work.

Later that night, at the synagogue she'd taken to attending when she had the time, she bowed her head, lit a 24 hour candle and closed her eyes. For a moment, she soaked in the world around her. Everything was so calm and so _peaceful_ while she struggled to keep the tears from her eyes. A whole year had passed and her father was still gone and she now mourned his death according to the Hebrew Calendar; as she did all her family.

The sudden sweep of another person beside her struck her as nothing new until she heard him speak in a soft, low voice. "Yit'gadal v'yit'kadash sh'mei raba."

"Amein." She echoed before finally turning to him. "What are you doing here, Tony?"

"I came to mourn the passing of your father." He wanted so desperately to wipe the tears that were threatening to escape from those big brown eyes he'd fallen in love with.

She breathed long and deep but no words would come out except on a laugh. "I don't think you're allowed in here. You're catholic."

He smirked, tilting his head. "Yeah well, rules haven't stopped me before." They flashed back to Canada, to Berlin, to Paris. To all the places where the line between partner and lover were blurred and, in some cases, crossed.

There was nothing left to say. There were no jokes or movie quotes that could pass between them and mean any more than silence. So she let go and her lip quivered and she gathered all the air in her lungs, hoping it would keep her from shaking too hard. "He's been gone a whole year. He was all the family I _had_ and now he's gone." A tear slid down her cheek and he gave in, running his thumb over her skin and holding her sweetly. "I'm all alone."

"No, you're not." He held her cheek firmly, ensuring that he had her full attention and she didn't slip into the past. "Gibbs, McGee, Abbey, Palmer, Ducky? We're all your family. We are here for you. It's what families do."

Her eyes were bloodshot, her breathing deep and labored, her heart searching Tony's for an answer. She saw it and surrendered. "I do not want you to be my family, Tony." She swallowed. "I want you to take me home." He saw the pleading in her eyes; her silent request. _Make me forget_. Anything for her.

He held her hand. "Let's go."


	14. Kallah

**You guys are either going to hate me or love me for this one so I'm just going to let you read (and review) while I go have a nap.**

** Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Kallah** – Bride

"I love him."

"Right." Tony rolled his eyes at the African woman across from him. She was big and loud and had almost bitten him when she was arrested. Maybe he was a little biased. "You were just _hired to kill him_. Why should we overlook _that_?"

"I came to this country to kill him. I fell in love."

"Of course you did."

She tried to stand in anger but she was weighed down but the force of the handcuffs keeping her chained to the interrogation table. She slumped down, her face contorting into pain and frustration. "No you don't understand. He was so kind and thoughtful and…wonderful." She looked up at Tony a different woman. "He brought me to this country so we could be together."

"And then you killed him."

"No!" She slapped the table and he jumped to see the same struggling expression to match her strength. "I did not kill him. I loved him."

Time to take a new approach, Tony. He leaned forward earnestly. "Then who do you think killed him?"

"My boss he was not happy when I backed out. He sent someone to hurt me." She inhaled shakily, tugging at Ton's heart strings. "And he succeeded."

His voice was much softer this time. "I need a name."

"I cannot." She shook her head vigorously, looking away. "He will kill me. Slowly."

He stood, adjusted his jacket and headed for the door. "See, that makes me wonder who you're more loyal to: your husband or your employer."

She stood again, shaking the table so it nearly gave in to her. "I did not kill him!"

Tony stepped into the observation room, frustrated with the woman's continued protests. "She's not going to say anymore."

Ziva folded her arms, watching the woman behind the glass. The way she finally surrendered and collapsed against the table, her head in her hands, shaking with sobs. "I'm inclined to believe her."

He sighed. "Me too. _But_, we have no other leads."

"What about her employer?"

"The messy shooting doesn't seem like a hit." He stared at the woman, so powerful and driven by emotion disguised as duty. "Seems more like a crime of passion."

"So you believe she loved him?"

"I want to." He looked at his partner with such tender eyes that she had to keep looking at him. "I want to believe that someone can come here under false pretenses and stay because they've changed; they've fallen in love."

She smiled softly, sharing this small beat of her heart with him. "It does happen."

"I know." Okay, back to business before you do something you'll regret. "So how do we break her?"

She turned back to watch the suspect, thoughts, interrogation tactics and plans forming in her head. "Let me go in alone. I can relate to her a lot better."

Tony smirked. "Right. As ninja assassins."

"And as a woman in love." She looked pointedly at him and he couldn't deny her.

He bowed and indicated the door, leaving it all to her. "Do your thing."

Some time later she entered the room, to find this strong woman who had nearly taken out all of the arresting officers, completely defeated. This was a powerful, forceful woman, taken down by strength of her love and the notion of betrayal. It wouldn't take much to break her if she said the right things. She held out her hand for the woman to shake. "Hello, Nadia; Agent Ziva David."

She didn't take her hand. "You're Israeli."

"Yes. And former Mossad." She sat in the chair and locked her fingers over the table. "I'm a lot like you, actually."

Nadia looked at her skeptically. "Really?"

"I came to this country – to NCIS – because I was told to betray someone. And I did."

Again she slapped the table but Ziva didn't flinch. "I did _not_ kill my husband."

She continued. "After I did my job I stayed here." She opened her palms, relaxing further into the chair. "And I fell in love. I got married. I've never been happier." Ziva leaned over the table, staring intently into the other woman's eyes; so full of love and pain and devotion. "And if someone killed the man I love: nothing would stop me from getting my revenge."

Nadia stared back at Ziva and saw the same haunted look in her eyes. So she sighed. "I do not know who killed my husband. If I did, I would tell you."

Her eyes fell to the ring on Nadia's finger. The one she'd been twisting around her finger since she'd entered the room. "That is a beautiful ring."

She smiled sadly, staring down at it. "He bought it for me last month for our anniversary. He said 'nothing could match the sparkle in my eyes but this came close'."

Ziva's expression fell as she stared at the diamond. "Last month?"

"The mysterious trip." Tony echoed from behind the glass.

Hours later, car chases, shoot outs and one pissed off assassin later, Ziva and Tony stood in the elevator at the end of a long case, finally taking the last piece of evidence down to the locker. She held up the ring in its evidence bag to Tony who shook his head. "All this over some stolen diamonds for his wife." He smirked. "I hear South African drug lords don't take well to thieves."

"I hate having to tell Nadia that her husband wasn't as kind and sweet as she thought."

He shrugged; that same charming smile on his face. "It's the thought that counts. He did do it for her."

"I know." She sighed, bumping his and smiling at him sweetly. "I'm just glad you did not turn out to be a diamond smuggler or a drug lord when I married you."

Tony chuckled. "Who's to say I'm not."

"Because you are not that good of a liar." She looked at him slyly from the corner of her eye, that spark of amusement dancing into a flame. "And I have… interrogated you too many times for me to not know."

He looked down at her and spoke in a conspiratorial whisper. "I don't think any of those interrogation techniques are admissible in court."

"I do not need a court." She reached down and grabbed him lightly, making him squeak.

"Good to know."


	15. Kol Demamah Dakkah

**Warning: the following scene contains shameless fluff. Read at your own risk.**

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* * *

**Kol Demamah Dakkah** – The sound of a whisper

She stood in the doorway for a long, agonizing moment, staring into the white walls and white sheets. An endless room of white that seemed to stretch on forever for the sheer intensity of her beating heart. He was lying there; so still, so pale and quiet, just like every night for the last two weeks. The scars across his chest and face were a vibrate red against his thin, white skin and it broke her heart.

Forcing herself forward she carried herself to his bedside and stared down at him, his hair mussed and unkempt; dirty. His breath was barely there, his heart rate beating slow and simple. A reassuring beat that reminded her that no matter how frail and lifeless he seemed, he was still alive. She carefully brushed her hand to his and tried to not to gasp at just how cold he was. She squeezed his hand tightly, keeping her voice low; her words only for him.

"Tony. You missed work again. Gibbs is not happy. You really should wake up before he gets mad. I am already _very_ cross with you. How could you" she swallowed "how could you be so…foolish? If you had gotten hurt on the job I could forgive you but a _car accident_ on your way home?" She shook her head "How could you do this to me?" She closed her eyes and took long, deep breaths, calming the raging emotions building up in her chest. "You have _always_ been there for me. Always. And if you were gone?" She took in a long breath, filling her lungs with the sight of him and the fears he brought to her. "I could not bear it. You must live, Tony, for me; please. I cannot live without you." Her voice was no more than a breath as she leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I love you." She pressed her lips to his cheek and breathed him in; the faint scent of his cologne masked by the smell of disinfectant and stale sheets.

Clearing her throat she stood tall, staring down at him once again. "Call me when you're ready to come home. I'll come and get you."

Ziva David ran through the hospital halls until she reached the familiar door to Tony's room. She caught herself on the door and braced herself for whatever important news the doctor wanted to tell her in person. Her heart dropped to the floor and she almost fell with it when she found the room empty and tidy as though no one had been there.

"Miss David?" She turned to find a nurse standing there with a bright, professional expression. "If you're looking for Mr. DiNozzo I'm sorry but he's no longer here."

She caught her breath on the way down, feeling her knees go numb but she held firm. "What?"

"He's been moved to another room. We need to keep him here for observation."

"He's been…" he's not dead? She wanted to kill the nurse; slowly. How could she make her think that...wait… "he's awake?"

The nurse nodded, her expression never faltering. "And he's been asking for you."

How she resisted the urge to grab the woman by the collar and shake the information out of her, she'd never know. "Where is he?"

"Behind you."

Her heart stopped all over again at hearing his voice. It felt like a lifetime since she'd heard it. She turned so quickly, afraid she'd misheard and there he was in a hospital robe and wheelchair, still pale and weak and so incredibly perfect. She watched him stand on shaky legs, an accompanying orderly there to catch his fall but he never did. He swayed but he never took his eyes off of her. Those beautiful brown eyes that she feared she'd never see again. "Hello." She tried her best to sound casual but it came out soft and shaky.

His responding smirk was less than stellar but every little bit made her want to cry out with joy. He wasn't going to die and everything would be fine. "Hi."

"You slept in." She accused softly. "Missed a lot of work."

"Yeah sorry, I've been really tired lately. Thought I'd catch up and then some."

"Well you are awake now and that is good."

"Gee, Ziva you sound almost _concerned _for me."

Her expression fell to anger and she stepped close to him. "How can you say that? You have been in a coma for nearly three weeks. No one knew if you were going to pull through or if you were going to be alright. Of course I was" He silenced her with a sweet kiss, soft and slow. His hands remained at his sides to steady her but he still fell into her and she caught his shoulders, returning the kiss with as much passion as she could muster in her shocked state.

When they finally released each other, he remained in her arms, leaning over to whisper in her ear "I love you, too." She pulled back suddenly, staring into his eyes for the sign of recognition she never expected to see.

"You heard me?" She slapped his head on instinct, wincing when he cried out in pain and the orderly helped him back into his seat. "Sorry." She dropped to her knees in front of him. "I'm sorry." She spoke softer once again, releasing a long, slow breath. "You heard me when I came to visit you?"

"I always hear you."

"You just never listen."

He smirked. "Well where's the fun in that?" She raised her hand and he winced but she lowered her hand. "Hey, I'm injured here."

Tony immediately regretted his words when he saw her face contort into something horrible and sad. He never wanted to see that expression again. "I know." She swallowed, her voice low and threatening. "Don't _ever_ do that to me again."

"I'll do my best."

She returned his playful smile and rolled her eyes, doing her best to keep from falling that little bit more in love with him. "Good."


	16. Lev Tov

**Feeling a little love sick and mopey today so this is what you get, sorry. And yet not sorry.**

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* * *

**Lev Tov** – Good heart

_Tony, I am not good with words but I will try. I need to tell you this and I could not say it in person. We have been partners for eight years and in that time I have come to know you as more than a co-worker. You have been a friend, a confidant – someone I have come to rely on. Without you I cannot imagine what my life would be like. Words cannot truly express my gratitude for what you have done for me. I know we did not always get along. I was stubborn and you were immature but we made a great team and that is all that matters. Working with you, with the team, was probably the best time of my life. I have so many fond memories and I learned so much but it is time for me to move on._

_Tony, we have been intimate in so many ways and I will never have that with another person. You should know that. No matter what happens in the future I need you to understand: no one will ever replace you in my heart. You have been there – you have always been there – and I can only hope that I am in your heart as well. Please do not think that I am leaving because of you. I have a duty that is taking me away from home and I may not return. If we never speak again I want you to know that I am sorry for not saying goodbye. I feared it would hurt too much. And I do not want to hurt you, Tony. You mean too much to me._

_I also wanted to say that you are a great man. For all your faults, you are a greater man than I ever thought. You have such a good heart; one that has been broken too many times and I hate to do it again but I cannot stay._

_There is something else that I need to tell you but I do not want to. Saying it will mean that I may never see you again and I could not bear that. But if that is the case then you need to know._

_I love you, Tony._

_I always have. I may never stop. Please don't come find me,_

_Ziva_

Tony found the letter on his desk that morning and couldn't stopped staring at it. He read it over and over in his mind; trying to decipher the hidden meaning because there was no way her words were true. The Director had announced that morning that Ziva David was no longer a member of NCIS but would say no more on the matter. McGee gave Tony his space, not asking the burning questions of "what now?" and "why?". Gibbs had been less than subtle in his effort to pull Tony out of his daze but nothing seemed to work until finally, he rolled his eyes.

"DiNozzo," Tony slowly looked up at the older man's sharp tone "her flight to Baghdad leaves in an hour and a half."

He stood from his chair, now fully alert. "Permission to go after the girl, boss?"

"Will it get you to stop moping and actually work?"

Tony nodded once, quick and stiff, a new energy bursting through him. "Yes."

"Then go."

Tony was down the stairs – too anxious to wait for the elevator – with the letter in hand before his chair could stop spinning.


	17. L'Chaim

**Per your request, dear readers, I will - eventually - be writing the conclusion to yesterday's story in which Tony does, in fact, get the girl. In the meantime, enjoy... LIFE!**

** Enjoy!**

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* * *

**L'Chaim - **To Life

"Yes, thank you doctor." Ziva hung up the phone as Tony _finally_ strolled into work. Not that he was late, she was just...not late and she hated that she was so early but she wanted privacy. But she didn't want to do it alone. Could she have both? Why was this so difficult?  
"Doctor?" Tony dropped his bag at his desk and sat down. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes everything is fine, Tony." She huffed. "It was just a routine checkup."

He would have let it go except she pursed her lips when she thought he wasn't looking and her face melted into one of worry and panic - but just for the briefest of moments and then she was back to being the stoic little soldier. "Are you sure?"

She looked at him, her composure breaking only for him. She swallowed; hoping to bring up the courage it would take to tell him what was on her mind. "A-actually"

"Gear up. Dead Naval Officer just outside an elementary school. Fire crews are meeting us there."

The pair looked at each other. Tony drew the proverbial short straw and asked obvious question: "why are fire crews meeting us there?"

Gibbs shot them his "look" before continuing his journey to the elevator with two of his puppies trailing behind. "He was found in a tree. Where's McGee?"

Tony winced. He almost pointed out - to Gibbs - that he'd rhymed but he smartly kept quiet.

Wait, where _was_ McGee? He'd been so caught up in Ziva's problem that he'd completely forgotten about Tim. "Uh..."

McGee caught the elevator doors just before they closed. "Sorry boss, I was using the men's room."

Right. Sure. Who was he kidding; he was still thinking about Ziva. Did he ever stop? As subtly as one can in a crowded elevator, he leaned over to her. "What were you going to tell me?"  
She shook her head and smiled sadly, feeling her motivation drain out of her. "It doesn't matter. We can discuss it after the case."

The case had been more action than adventure: Car chases through downtown Washington, gun battles, and a particularly trigger happy bomb maker who took a particular interest in Ziva. She hadn't handled it with her usual kickass flair and that worried even Gibbs. Especially when their suspect pulled his gun and Ziva David, former Mossad Agent and trained assassin, backed away. It hadn't ended well when Gibbs confronted her outside while the boys carted their suspect off to holding.

"What the hell was that?"

"What was what?"

"You." He accused. "Backing down from a fight."

"It happens." She shouted.

"Since when?" He shouted back.

"Since I found out I'm pregnant." Oh. OH! Oh.

He lowered his voice considerably but the intensity - the way that had her shaking - was still there. "When did you find out?"

She took a deep breath to settle her nerves. It didn't work. "Three days ago. Just before the case started."

"And you didn't think to tell me?" She flinched and he calmed. "Sorry."

She ignored him, not daring to acknowledge that Gibbs had just apologized for yelling. "I thought that I would be fine for at least one case before it became a problem but I..." she sighed. "I could not stop thinking about it."

"As you should, Ziver." He touched her shoulder. "Have you told Tony?"

"No I" her head shot up "why would I tell Tony?"

He didn't respond but the look he gave her as he walked away said it all. He knew.

What did he know? She and Tony weren't a _couple. _They were just two friends who were a little iffy on where the boundaries were. She liked it that way. Putting distinct labels on their relationship would just make it complicated.

How was she ever going to tell him the truth?

As they packed up for the night, it didn't get any easier. "Long day." She hummed in response, still gathering her thoughts. Tony paused. She hadn't been herself since she got that phone call a few days ago. He tried not to be worried but he couldn't help it. She was moody and far too cautious to _really_ be his Ziva but there she was in the flesh. He'd never forget how scared she looked facing down that bomber. It was so unlike her it scared _him_. What was bothering her? "So I was thinking" her head shot up. God, how he loved her eyes. He cleared his throat. "Maybe we could go out, grab a drink. Celebrate life and all that."

"Yeah..." she responded without thinking. She could really use a drink to calm her nerves. Except "uh, no. No. I don't want to go out for drinks, Tony."

His face fell and she felt little bits of hope returning. "No, that's alright, I just thought it'd be fun." For some reason, his eagerness to take her out calmed her nerves a little.

She smiled. "I'd much rather take you home."

He chocked as he nearly dropped his bag. "Excuse me?"

"I don't feel like drinking tonight," she spoke softly while a little voice in her ear whispered _want to but can't_. "But we have a lot of things to talk about, Tony."

He gulped. "We do?"

She came around the desk to meet him in the middle, staring up at him with renewed apprehension. She was really going to do this. "A lot of things. A lot about life. And about what I was going to tell you before. As soon as we get home." She promised, taking his hand. "Let's go."


	18. Malach HaMavet

**Alright, I know you guys want to see a continuation of yesterday's as well. How about we just make a list of all the ones you want me to continue and I'll see what I can do. I'll do my best, I promise. And then there's this one...**

** Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Malach HaMavet** – Angel of death

"Agent DiNozzo." Tony answered the phone on the first ring.

"Yes, I'd like to report a murder." The voice sounded vaguely familiar but he couldn't place it so he grabbed a notepad.

"Can you give me your location?"

"I don't really know." She sounded almost cocky. Odd. "It's some abandoned warehouse on the east side of town.

"Okay. Do you know who the victim is?"

"I don't know. Some naval officer."

He sighed but didn't let her hear it. "Is there anything else you can tell me?"

"Yes. I did it."

The world stopped and Tony froze with it. "You did what?"

She was almost laughing at him. He could hear it. "I killed him." Somewhere in the background Tony could hear the sounds of a man gagging and groaning.

Oh god. "It's you."

"Hello Tony. It's been a long time."

"Why are you doing this?" He growled into the phone and Ziva looked up with concern.

"Because I missed you." She pouted. "We haven't spoken in so long."

Ziva mouthed 'are you okay' and he shook his head but neither could do anything. Instead, he snapped his fingers at Tim who looked up and immediately began to run a trace on Tony's phone. "Oh and don't bother getting Agent McGee to run a trace on my number. I'll tell you where I am. If you answer my question."

"What?"

"Why is Ziva where that blue shirt two days in a row?"

Frantically he scanned the room but could find no one who was watching his face light up with panic. Ziva, on the other hand, had come around her desk to stand at his, anxiously awaiting his explanation. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because if you don't I'm going to keep this man alive. And you know what I do to the ones who are left breathing."

"We slept together last night, is that what you want to hear?" He kept his voice low but he knew Ziva had heard him and that was why she was looking at him with such terrified eyes.

"Good boy. And tell Ziva not to worry; I won't reveal your little secret to Gibbs."

"Where _are_ you?!" He stood from his chair and his partner jumped back even as Tim gave him the thumbs up.

She laughed and he felt his blood run cold. "By now Timmy must have gotten a trace. Come and collect your prize. I'll see you later, Tony."

She hung up with a light laugh and Tony slammed his phone into the receiver with such force that it fell to the floor. Tony joined the pair as Ziva knelt gently to retrieve the phone. Tony pinched the bridge of his nose trying his best to the throw something else in frustration. Not again. "Tony?" He looked up at Ziva's concerned expression. "Who was that?"

"The Angel of Death."

Later, when it was just the two of them and the stress of the day filled of questions without answers was still fresh in their minds, they sat in his apartment with two cold beers and Chinese take-out. "Her name's Alice Morgan. The press dubbed her 'The Angel of Death' after her first two victims were found strung up _naked_ in very public places. Strangled to death." He took a long swig and she just watched him. "She killed eight men while I was on the force, six before I joined. Men who had dark, dangerous secrets. Some people thought that she was a gun for hire but I knew the truth." He suddenly lost his appetite and pushed his carton of chow mien far away. "She liked it."

Ziva blinked. She didn't know what to do with this vulnerable, brooding Tony. She wasn't really good at comfort _period_. "Tony"

"We were so close to catching her." He finished off his bottled and tossed it across the room, landing neatly in the bin. "But when we showed up with the warrant she was gone. And now she's relocated to DC. Just for me."

He was startled when she threw her arms around him. After a moment he held her back. The warmth seeping through her skin was more comforting than he could express. "Don't worry. I won't let her get to you."

He laughed against her hair. "Too late."

She pulled back just enough to cup his face and keep his eyes right on her. "We will get her before she hurts anyone else. I swear."

He cupped her face and looked at her with such reverence and love that she nearly melted away. He smiled. "I'm sorry about what I told her earlier I just"

"I understand. It's not a big deal." Well, it was. It was something they were going to talk about later. "It can wait until the case is over."

"Thank you for staying with me, tonight. You didn't have to."

"I must protect you." She stated simply, her arms falling away from his face, landing on his thighs. "I will stay until this woman is caught."

"Hope you brought a few changes of clothes. This isn't going to be easy."

"It never is."


	19. Ne'eman

**This one is sappy and maybe a little out of character for Ziva but I was feeling a little sappy so you guys get this. Love you!**

** Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Ne'eman** – Trustworthy

"Ziva, it's going to be alright."

He could see her shaking with the weight of the world but all he could use were words right now. "Tony"

"Look at me. Do you trust me?"

"What?" She sounded so scared like maybe…maybe they weren't in this situation and it was all a dream. It barely sounded like Ziva but it was and they were and it just sucked.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes." She spoke with shaky conviction and he could feel his own slipping away. "Of course."

"Then trust me when I tell you that everything's gonna be alright."

"Tony, I'm standing on a bomb." He was very much aware of that. He couldn't stop thinking about that; or the fact that he was kneeling at her feet in a hazmat tent trying to defuse said bomb with shaky fingers because someone high up decided that they weren't worth the risk. They were alone. No one was going to come and save them from the radioactive poisoning or the dirty bomb underneath a pressure plate. It was just them.

Still, he did his best to smirk and scoff and brush off her worries so maybe she'd stop shaking. "So? When have I ever lied to you?" She gave him the most horrible death glare that he almost laughed but rolled his eyes instead. At least she wasn't shaking enough to give him attitude. "About the important stuff."

Her glare faded into a gaze. Softer and scared to breathe. "I trust you, Tony but that's not going to get me out of this."

"But it definitely won't hurt."

The urge to hold her was strong if only to stop her from shaking. She'd been standing in the same spot for several hours now but his biggest fear was that she wasn't shaking from exhaustion. "I do not want to die, Tony."

He stood to hold her eyes intently. "You are not dying, Ziva David. I won't let you."

"Hope is not always enough."

"It's more than enough." He assured, returning to his spot at her feet.

She shook her head "You must leave. It will go off soon."

"That's a negative, my little ninja." He went back to work, not finding the strength to face her so he settled for saving her. "I'm not going anywhere until you're with me."

"This is not the time to be a hero." She scolded.

He scoffed. "Why not? What have I got to lose?" He looked up at her when he spoke. She needed to know – she _had_ to know. He wasn't going to let her die. He would never let her die. He meant what he said all those years ago: he couldn't live without her.

He saw it in her eyes. She did know and she felt the same but this was possibly the most inconvenient of times for a confession. She swallowed the lump in her throat and opened her mouth but he suddenly heard something click beneath his fingers and the world stopped.

"I think I've got it."

She startled, he voice nothing but a whisper. "You think?"

"Well bomb disarming is more of an art form than a science."

"Actually"

"Got it." He jumped up triumphantly, feeling new blood pumping through his veins.

Still, her face contorted into concern and wariness shining behind that blind faith. "You got it?"

"I'm pretty sure it's off."

"Be sure." She ordered but he held out his hand to her. "Tony"

"Ziva," the sharpness of his voice, the clarity in his eyes, the rabid beating of her heart; she stared at him "trust me."

It took only a moment before she reached out a quaking hand and placed it in his strong, steady one. He gripped her frozen fingers tightly and tugged until she fell into his arms and off the plate.

Nothing happened.

She sank into his embrace as she felt the world give way beneath her. She didn't care that he was holding her up, she just never wanted to leave his arms, again. She held him tighter.

"There you go." He whispered into her hair, not daring to let her go again. "See, I told you to trust me."

"I never stopped." She snuggled into his chest because, damn it, she nearly died and he saved her and she was on of her last thread of pride.

In a few minutes they would have to go back out into the outside world and catch a killer but for at least this moment, they could have a moment of weakness. She _lived_ for these moments.


	20. Selichah

**My attention span was horrible with this one. I definitely didn't get enough sleep. Regardless, you guys are awesome so the whole point is moot. **

** Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Selichah** – Forgiveness

Tony rifled through his desk drawer but couldn't find what he was looking for. "Ziva have you seen my"

"No, I have not." She didn't look up from her paperwork but her two coworkers did.

"But I didn't even tell you what I'm looking for."

"It doesn't matter because even if I did find it, I would not tell you." She slammed her fist against her desk a little too forcefully, knocking her empty coffee cup over. Great.

"But"

"I'm going to get another cup of coffee." She stood abruptly, not daring to let him finish for fear she might punch him. "McGee would you like a cup?"

Poor Tim looked between the couple in fear. "No, I'm good, Ziva."

With a nod, Ziva practically stormed around the corner, leaving a very confused and panicking Tony in her wake.

"What was that?"

"She's mad at you, DiNozzo." Gibbs came strolling in passed Ziva, shaking his head at Tony.

Tony looked at his boss, wide eyed. "I noticed boss. Why?"

"You obviously screwed up."

"No." He shook his head vigorously, scanning through the last week to find _something_ that would make Ziva so…grumpy. "This is _not_ my fault."

Gibbs sighed; would he ever learn? "News flash: it's always your fault."

Tony winced. Right. "How do I fix it?"

"Apologize."

Still wide-eyed and panicked and more than a little afraid of his girlfriend, Tony returned to his work to figure out a plan of attack. "Right."

She made it the entire day without killing him but the drive back to his apartment was another story. He was overly sweet an accommodating, opening doors for her, playing her favourite music and not _once_ did he make a joke or quote a movie.

"Alright enough!" She shouted when he took her coat as the entered the apartment. "What is wrong, Tony?"

"What?"

She ripped the coat out of his hands and threw it somewhere close to the chair. "You have been so kind, and so courteous and so _quiet_ all afternoon. What is wrong?"

"Nothing." He did his best smile nonchalantly but her face was red now it was scaring him. "I just thought you'd like some peace and quiet."

"Since when?"

He sighed, his shoulders sagging. "Since I screwed up and you were mad at me."

Ziva paused. Her expression falling softly. "What did you screw up?"

"I don't _know_." He threw his hands up before reaching down to retrieve her coat and drape it over the back of the chair. "I've been trying to figure it out all day." He faced, holding her shoulders gently so she had to look up at him. "What did I do to make you so pissed off?"

She searched his eyes for an explanation but found none. "Tony…" then it dawned on her "is this about this morning?"

"Yes!"

"Tony." She wanted to laugh but smiled sweetly instead, it was gentler that way. "I wasn't mad at you."

Relief, fear, confusion; deep breath, DiNozzo, you're in the clear. "You weren't?"

"I had a fight with a friend of mine last night and I may have projected some of my frustration onto you."

Okay, time to focus on her. He led her to the couch and they sat down. "What was the fight about?"

"You." She rolled her eyes but the deep breath she took told him something was really bothering her. "She does not think that we should be together. She said that office…romances always end badly."

"What makes her say that?"

"If we were to ever…part," oh, right to the heart. Keep calm, DiNozzo, it's just hypothetical. "I could not work with you. As much as I value our partnership, I could not work with you."

"That's a pretty big 'if'." He assured. "You did tell her to shove it, right?" Her shoes suddenly became very interesting to her. "Ziva?"

"What if she's right?" Her head shot up, making him jump more than the implication of her question. "What if everyone is right? What if this is never meant to work out between us?"

"Hey" he tilted her chin so she looked at him, smiling gently. "Our lives are our own. It doesn't matter what happened in the past. All that matters is us. And since I don't see you leaving me for another man anytime soon, how about we cross that breakup bridge if we come to it."

She swallowed. Damn him. "That is a big 'if'."

"It is." He stood with a familiar smirk and an open palm. "So do you forgive me?"

She looked up at him. "Forgive you for what?"

He shrugged. "I don't know; anything."

She raised an eyebrow, offering her best scrutinizing gaze even though she was laughing and smiling on the inside. "You just want make up sex."

"Yes, yes I do." He looked so serious she could hardly resist him so she rolled her eyes, took his hand and led him into the bedroom.


	21. Panim el Panim

**Before you say anything, I purposefully left out the middle chunk of this story because I _do_ plan on turning this into it's own fic. So it's on the list. *Thumbs up***

** Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Panim el Panim **- Face to Face

Tony had been checking the clock religiously for the past hour, looking up every two minutes just to make sure the clock was still moving forward. "Somewhere you need to be, Tony?"

He looked up to see Ziva smirking at him expectantly. "As a matter of fact, I have a date tonight. I was hoping to get out early to get ready."

He saw a flash of…something, he wasn't sure what, in her eyes before she looked back down. "And who is this mystery woman?" Oh, she was definitely rolling her eyes.

"She's tall, blonde, _beautiful_. I think she was a model somewhere in Europe." Liar. He had no idea who this woman was. He'd met her online and they'd chatted for a bit before agreeing to meet in person. Tonight. He didn't even know what she looked like. "What about you?"

"I do not have a date, I plan to take the time to catch up on some light reading." Liar. She was going out tonight to a nice, casual restaurant with a man she didn't know. She'd met him online and they'd chatted for a bit before agreeing to meet in person. Tonight. "So where did you meet this European Goddess?"

Online. "I don't kiss and tell."

"Since when?" She scoffed.

He made a face but she was right. Again he glanced at the clock. Finally. "Time to go." He grabbed his coat. "See you tomorrow." She waved him off but the moment he was gone her smile faded. No, she was no jealous of Tony and his excitement at dating someone else. They weren't a couple, they were never a couple, but lately it felt as though they were becoming closer as maybe more than friends. True, she was also going out but that was only to avoid going home to an empty apartment for the millionth time. Besides, she decided, it might be nice to get back into the dating game, things had not been the most promising for her in that department lately. With a firm nod, she began to pack up.

Time to go and meet her mystery date face to face.

She sat at the table for ten minutes, playing with her napkin before he arrived. She'd gotten a table outside in a warm evening air where the cloudless skies were perfect for a casual – possibly – romantic atmosphere. Per their agreement, she wore a white flower in her hair which she was trying desperately to stop touching in her anxiety. Why was she so nervous? _Because_ _you have no idea who this guy is_, the little voice scolded, _you could have just agreed to date a serial killer_.

"Zatana?"

She jumped, hearing her screen name behind her. She took a deep breath. This was it. She stood. "De Niro." Her face paled as did his. "Tony?"

"Ziva?" He choked on his last breath, staring at her incredulously. "_You're_ my mystery date?"

"What happened to your European Model?"

He released a nervous laugh that sounded much more pathetic in his head. "I lied. I met someone online." He smirked softly. "You. So this is code for reading?"

She smiled, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would ask questions and you'd make some comment about online dating."

"It _is_ kinda lame."

"You are doing it, too."

"Fair enough," he readjusted his blazer and finally looked at her. "You…you look amazing."

Was Ziva David _blushing_? "Well I wanted to look nice for…you." She appraised him and her smile reached her eyes. "You look very handsome."

"Well I had to live up to a goddess," he looked at her and her heart stopped. This was dangerous, uncharted territory. He was looking at her like a date. Like candlelight dinners and long, romantic walks. There were so many warning bells going off she could barely think straight.

She cleared her throat, breaking them both of their spell. "Well, since there was obviously some computer glitch that brought us together, why don't we go our separate ways." She turned to walk away. "I'll see you tomorrow, Tony."

She stopped when he grabbed her hand, holding her wrist gently. "Why?" She opened her mouth but he just kept talking. "We're both here, and I haven't eaten." His eyes were pleading and she knew she'd give in. "Please?"

"Okay, Tony."

The next morning, McGee was the last to arrive. Ziva had been in early, not having slept well and Tony had followed suit not long after, looking brighter and very…_awake_. "Morning, guys."

"Morning McGee." They chorused and he turned to look at them.

"How was your night?" He looked at Tony who looked up with a light smile.

"It was really good. She's…something." His gaze turned to Ziva who was peeking up at him through her eyelashes. "I definitely think I'll see her again."

Tim hummed in admiration. He'd rarely heard Tony speak so fondly of a first date with someone he described as "smoking hot" yesterday. "Ziva?"

She looked at McGee. "I had a nice relaxing evening."

"Right," Tony was doing his best not to smirk at her "reading. How'd that work out for you."

"It was quite enjoyable. A whole new chapter." She stared back at Tony with the same secret smile.

Poor Tim watched the interaction between his friends, completely oblivious, so he set his bag down and buried his head in work. Across from him, Tony continued to smile at her, silently asking if that book would get a sequel. The soft expression she echoed back spoke volumes. _Yes._


	22. Tsarot Levavi

**I hope you all love this piece of cheese because I couldn't stop grinning. The crazy things I do for you guys.**

** Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Tsarot Levavi** – Troubles of my heart

Shmeil stared at Ziva over their dinner table. Not that she noticed, so lost in thought he feared she may never return to him. She'd been dazed most of the afternoon they spent together but she'd never admit it. She was trying her best to be here with him but he just looked at her gently.

"Ziva." He called gently and she nearly jumped from her chair. "Come back."

She blinked. "I have not gone anywhere."

"Your thoughts were far away. What were you thinking about?"

Ziva smiled weakly, shaking her head. "It is nothing of importance."

"Nothing of importance?" The older Israeli patted the table between them. "Motek, you never think anything so deeply if it is not of importance. What is troubling you?"

She sighed. You can't lie to Shmeil. "It is…a matter of the heart."

"Tony." He nodded encouragingly.

She started. They hadn't exactly gone public with their relationship which was troubling her greatly. Her friend's knowledge should not have come as a surprise. "He…he has proposed."

"Proposed what?"

She ground her teeth. It was hard enough thinking about it, she didn't want to say it out loud. "Marriage. He wants to marry me."

"And that is troubling you?"

"Yes!" She looked at her friend, distressed. "No one knows that we have been…dating for over a year. And now he wants to…" she sighed "he bought me the most beautiful ring. And I gave it back to him."

Shmeil was doing his best not to smile but it wasn't working. "Ziva, my darling, I am so happy for you."

"What?"

"You are going to marry Tony."

"No I…I haven't decided yet."

"You want to marry Tony."

She opened her mouth but promptly closed it. Curse you, Shmeil. "That is not the point. The point is… he's doing it in the wrong order."

"There is an order to love?" He wasn't even trying to hide his smile now. He had never seen her so happy as when she would speak of Tony and he could not be more proud of the life she had built here.

"There is a general order to things, yes."

"And you and Tony have always done things in order."

"Well…" she thought back to their relationship. "Not exactly." _Not at all, never_, the voice in her head kept telling her. "Tony and I have always moved at our own pace."

"Then what is the problem?

Ziva leaned forward on her elbows, resting there in contemplation. What _was_ the problem? She loved Tony and he loved her – they'd admitted as much long ago. They had been living together for several months now without many problems and they'd kept their work professional – except for that one time in the elevator but it was once and he smelt really good. Why couldn't she accept his proposal?

"I'm scared." She finally admitted. "I have been proposed to once before and it did not end well."

Shmeil sighed, taking her hand. "He is not that man."

"I know." Her voice had fallen to a whisper. "I care for him very much. I do not want to rush into it."

He almost laughed at that. "Ziva, you and Tony have known each other for ten years. You have not rushed anything." She couldn't look him in the eye when he was being so reasonable. "Perhaps the affairs of the heart should be discussed with the heart."

"What?"

He smiled gently. "Tell Tony how you feel."

"We have never been good at…communicating our feelings."

His eyes wandered over her shoulder and he did smile this time. "Perhaps you should start."

Slowly Ziva caught on and she turned her head to find Tony standing just outside the café, pacing back and forth to gather his courage. He came back for her. She caught herself turning pink at the thought and she couldn't stop the smile that spread through her body. "Excuse me, my friend." He nodded to her and she stood, her eyes never leaving Tony.

He looked up just as she stepped out of the restaurant. "Ziva, we need to talk."

"Yes we do."

"It was a mistake."

She froze. "What?"

"I never should have proposed. You obviously weren't ready and I don't want to pressure you I just" he was cut off by the tug of her lips on his. He didn't respond, too shocked, but he could feel her smile as they pulled apart.

"Shut up, Tony."

"Okay."

Her expression fell for a moment, taking long, deep breaths to gather her courage. "I love you." She watched his expression fall and tried not to smile. "And there is no one else I could imagine spending the rest of my life with."

"I'm sensing a _but_ here."

Her face lit with the grin that threatened to burst from her chest. "No _but_s." She spoke slowly so there was no room for error. "Yes, I will marry you."

Their kiss was passionate and rough, full of sudden emotion and rapidly beating hearts. She gasped when she felt a thin piece of metal circling her left ring finger. She broke just far enough so she could watch him place the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly – of course it did. She looked at him when he tilted her chin and smiled. "I love you."

She couldn't stop grinning.

Through the window, Shmeil watched their exchange and shook his head with a satisfied smile. Quietly, he called for the check and paid while the couple walked back to Tony's car with nothing but love in their eyes.


	23. Qinnaa

**You would think it would be easy to come up with a story about them being jealous...it's not. But I'm quite happy with where this went without me really paying attention so hopefully you do, too.**

** Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Qinnaa** – Jealous

They were the last two in the building. It didn't happen often but it was a long weekend and it was so late it counted as early and they were the only ones on the floor – at least. What were two healthy adults doing in an empty building so early in the morning?

Paperwork.

After their most recent case the pair discovered that they were very far behind in their paperwork and since they had no magical plans for the long weekend, the opted to stay and get it done before it became a real problem.

The problem was, they were both kind of distracted. You would be too if your partner had spent the last case making out with someone else. Not that you'd laid claim to them but it was kind of hard to watch. And Ziva had finally had enough. Tony looked up when she slammed her pencil down on the desk in frustration.

"What is it?"

"Are we ever going to speak to each other again?"

He raised his eyebrows in annoyance and looked back down at his desk. "I think everything was pretty clear in Santa Monica."

She growled in frustration practically leaping over her own desk to lean against his. "I thought we both agreed that we were just doing what was necessary for the case."

"And that included sticking your tongue down our suspect's throat?"

"Yes" she grabbed his current project away and tossed it haphazardly behind her "because if I didn't he would have shot you."

"Right" he rolled his eyes "that was the _only_ reason."

She gaped at him, ignoring her speeding heart and leaning further over his desk. "You're jealous."

"Why would I be jealous?" He stood to be level with her.

"Yes, would _you_ be jealous when I was the one who had to watch you make goggle eyes at our suspect's girlfriend. I'm not the one who took her up to a hotel room."

He gaped at her. "Is that what this is about?" He softened just a little; he never meant to hurt her. "I knew that she wanted out of the crime family so I was helping her out."

"I'm sure you were helping her out of something."

They were so close now, breathing the same breath, but neither noticed. "What is your problem?" He growled.

"My problem," she poked his chest roughly "is that I need a partner who can be professional in the work place." She separated from him and backed away cautiously. "And you aren't him."

"Ziva" he came around the desk to stop her but she'd already turned around, her body shaking with the pressure not to beat him senseless.

"You are so desperate to seduce beautiful women and get the last laugh that I don't think I can trust you as my partner anymore." She turned to grab her bag but he lightly grabbed her hand.

"This isn't about the case anymore, is it?"

She couldn't look at him, the gentle pressure at her wrist was slowly melting her resolve, as was the concerned look coming at the back of her head. Curse him. She turned to face him. "No; it is about you…and me."

"You and me?" He released her hand but didn't move, rocking back and forth on his heels in silence.

She wanted to slap him. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Just give it a minute. I'm waiting for the phone to ring or for someone to walk in because that always happens when we're about to have a serious talk."

She didn't have to look around to know the truth. "We are alone, Tony?" His name came out so softly he barely heard it through her shaking voice.

"We are." He agreed, still rocking on his heels. His laugh startled her. "You know, I never actually know what to say to you."

"What do you want to say to me?"

He gave another nervous laugh and she smiled encouragingly. "What I _want _to say? I want to say…I love you. And yes I am jealous. Of all the men you've been with not just this one. And…I would give up all the women chasing, all the jokes; if it meant being with you."

She took a quick, gasping breath to compensate for the lack of oxygen that accompanied his little speech. "Why can't you say that to me?"

"Because you're Ziva David," he smirked "if you hear something you don't like, it doesn't end well for me."

"What makes you think I won't like it?"

"Look, we established that you care about me but an actual, committed relationship just doesn't seem in the cards."

"Until you." She was in his arms faster than he could react, causing them to stumble against her desk when she pulled his lips down to hers. His response was instinctual, wrapping his arms around her waist and cradling her neck so he could properly bend her over and continue to kiss her without any pretense or extenuating circumstances.

They only parted once the need for oxygen became too great and they still rested against the desk, their foreheads resting against each other. "Wow." He breathed and she laughed. "So does this mean"

"Yeah," she smiled, brushing her hands over his cheeks to give his lips a light peck. God, it felt so surreal and yet so natural to just be wrapped in each other. "Gibbs is going to be mad at us."


	24. Rikudim

**I'm just going to leave this here and try not to think about how there's only three more days after this and this Rule 12 is done.**

** Enjoy!**

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* * *

**Rikudim** – Dance

On one of the worst days of her life she never expected to see him there. But she did. And she forgot just how much she needed him. She looked up slowly from her place in the corner and there he was like he'd never left her side. He stood before her in a crisp tux and understanding smile and she wanted to kick his ass. Instead she took his hand and allowed herself to be led out onto the dance floor.

The music was soft and gentler but no gentler than his hand around her waist and his fingers holding hers like she might break from just the wrong touch. He wasn't wrong. She admitted about an hour ago that she was feeling fragile and the last thing she wanted was to be _handled_. He held her.

She could feel her muscles relaxing into him as they swayed around the dance floor in random patterns. All that mattered was them. Her head fell to his chest and he maintained his almost _stoic_ expression. Today he would be her rock. All he wanted was to erase her frown.

"I'm sorry, Tony." She muttered against his dress shirt and he knew she could feel his heart speed up. "I was…foolish to think I could find happiness anywhere else."

He wanted to ask what she meant by that but he was just so happy that she was talking to him. He didn't want to risk it. She continued anyways.

"He just seemed like a nice distraction for everything. I didn't have to think about it, I just had to be with him." Slowly her head came up to look into his eyes, watching her patiently. "Why did you let it get this far?"

"I thought I was doing what you wanted." He admittedly quietly. His mistake was just for them to know.

She wanted to slap him. She wanted to kiss him. She shook her head. "How could you think that I wanted to be with anyone else? Let alone one who left me at the altar." Remember for the first time since he took her hand that they were dancing to music played through a stereo while the catering service cleaned up the unused wedding reception. The hall was empty except for the few staff members who gave them their privacy as they cleaned.

"What did you want me to do?"

She stopped dancing this time. "I wanted you to tell me you loved me. That you didn't want me to marry…him." She almost said his name but he wasn't worthy of a name. "Have you learnt nothing from your movies?"

"Our lives aren't fiction." He reminded gently, not finding another excuse.

"Yes but" she placed her hands on his chest to scold him and furrowed her eyebrows instead "why are you wearing a tuxedo?"

He actually shook with the effort not to laugh. "I was on my way to the church when I got the call from McGee." He smirked but his eyes still had all the gentle sadness he'd held her with earlier. "I was going to object in the middle of the ceremony." He finally chuckled. "How's that for Hollywood?"

She began to laugh with him and it was the sweetest sound until it melted into a sob and she laid her head against his chest. He instinctually wrapped his arms around her and swayed out of time to the music. She just held him tightly while the emotions of the day fell away. She hadn't truly wanted to marry him but it felt good to feel like she was loved and to put on the wedding gown. Gibbs declining to walk her down the aisle _this time_ should have been a clue that this wasn't meant to be. But she knew that, didn't she?

"How did we get here?" She muttered against his chest.

"Well I drove _ow_." She pinched his side but didn't move from his arms. She didn't want to leave. Today she was going to do one thing she actually wanted to do.

"I'm serious."

"Okay," he breathed, resisting the urge to rub his sore side because he was much too comfortable in her arms to ever leave. "Seriously." He cleared his throat. But then he paused to really think about it. "I don't know. It seems like just yesterday I was stalking you in a hotel pool."

"Poorly." She almost smiled.

"Yes. Poorly." His smile faltered. "It's hard to believe how much has happened since then."

She agreed with a silent look, he soft smile and still shaking arms. She closed her eyes and focused more on his beating heart than her own. His was steady and strong and hers was barely keeping her from falling. "I'm sorry, Tony." She spoke before she could catch herself.

"What are you sorry for? None of this was your fault."

"I'm sorry for almost marrying the wrong man." She held him just that little bit tighter. "I would have gone through with it."

He sighed, wrapping his arms around her completely, resting his chin on her head. He closed his eyes, selfishly thanking the jackass that was foolish enough to leave her because he would have never forgiven himself if she had gone through with it. "I forgive you." He whispered – though he wasn't sure who he was forgiving. He honestly didn't blame her but maybe, she needed him to. Whatever she needed. "I'll always forgive you."

He hadn't been keeping track of the songs playing softly through the speaker but it changed and almost laughed but shook his head and rest back on top of her head. Her hair smelt so sweet – like apples and spring time – and it almost physically hurt to think that if things had gone differently, she would be dancing with her husband right now, in a room full of their friends. But Frank Sinatra was right.

"It had to be you." His heart stopped when he heard her softly singing along to the music.

Again he sighed. Words had left him completely and all he could think of was _her_. _Yes it did_. He thought to himself while they swayed around the empty dance floor, the world literally being disassembled around them. _It had to be her_.


	25. Shadchan

**Admittedly this is not my best one but I used the blind date story already so this is my second best idea. *shrugs* and keep those lists coming. I plan on doing as many Tiva stories as I can after this one. Even though Tiva is basically over *sad face*...happy Wednesday.**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

* * *

**Shadchan** – Matchmaker

He walked in to the restaurant, her arm in his, a bright smile on his face. She looked up at him with those saucy chocolate brown eyes that told him they wouldn't be staying for dessert. He approached the hostess. "Table for DiNozzo."

"Tony?" He turned to see his Israeli co-worker on the arm of a charming – tall, crazy tall – man.

"What are you doing?" They spoke in unison.

"What are _you_ doing here?" They spoke again but Ziva lifted a finger and Tony shut his mouth.

"I'm here on a date. I assume you are as well." He nodded, keeping his eyes on her and his lips shut. "Okay."

"Do you two know each other?" Ziva was _this_ close to rolling her eyes at his date's question.

"We work together."

Before any more could be said the hostess called out. "DiNozzo. David." Their tables were ready.

They ended up sitting next to each other. Great. The waitress noticed their uneasy looks. "Is there something wrong?"

Tony leaned forward, pasting on his most charming smile. "Is there nowhere else we can sit?"

She blushed and looked genuinely apologetic. "I'm sorry Mr. DiNozzo but we're completely booked up. You and your friend have the only available tables."

"His friend?" Ziva squeaked from beside him.

"Well yes, you and Mr. DiNozzo worked at the same time, I just assumed"

"Well you know what happens when you assume." Ziva muttered under her breath but they all heard her.

"Behave." Tony warned, earning a curious glare from her date. He tried to ignore it and smile at their hostess. "It's fine, thank you." Oh the poor girl looked so relieved after Ziva lost her angry glare. She smiled brightly and walked away before she could get insulted any further. "Ziva, she was just doing her job."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it." She grumbled.

Tony leaned into her, concerned. "Hey, what's up?"

"I'm sorry, Tony" she lowered her voice "but I do not want to be on a date with you sitting right beside me."

"I take it you two used to date?" Tony almost rolled his eyes at her date.

"No." They answered in unison, making their dates jump. "Sorry."

Tony tried to smile at her but to be honest, he was really uncomfortable being on a date with someone who wasn't Ziva. "Let's just get through tonight." He pleaded. Slowly she nodded.

She laughed, coming back to the couch with two bottles of beer. "Do you remember that horrible date?" She passed him the bottle while he reread the invitation.

"I thought it turned out well." He clinked their bottles before taking a swig.

"Eventually yes, they did get married but it was very uncomfortable."

She curled into his side and wrapped his arms around her. "Agreed. It was very nice of them to invite us to the wedding giving we only met them the one time." He placed his bottle on the table in front of them so he could really look at her. "But I was talking more about us." He kissed her nose.

She tried not to smile at his sentimentality. "We would have been together with or without the awkward date." She conceded. "It might have taken a bit longer but we made it."

"That we did." He placed a sweet kiss on her lips and yes, she melted. "Happy Anniversary, Ziva."

"Happy Anniversary, Tony."


	26. Talmid

**Since today is the second last day I figured I owed you guys a really long one so here you go. I'm rather proud of this one. It's a little darker and it took a lot more out of me than I realized but I'm happy with it. I really hope you guys like it too. I want the final list of expanded stories by tomorrow so I can see how much material I have to work with. Love you all!**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

* * *

**Talmid** – Pupil/Student

"Tony?" His eyes flew open at the sound of her voice; the sweet sound of her voice that he'd been longing to hear for what seemed like years. He bolted from his awkward position in the hospital chair and practically flew to her side, pausing just over her bed when he saw her panicked, tearful look. "Tony, why can't I feel my legs?"

The doctor explained that during her car accident – his throat closed just thinking of the phone call he received that yesterday – she had received some spinal cord damage and as a result she was going to experience paraplegia until the swelling subsided. He didn't have the strength to explain it to Ziva but the doctor just stared at her and spoke matter-of-factly. She was paralyzed from the waist down for the foreseeable future.

She hadn't taken the news well. She may have thrown a fit – and a meal tray – causing two hunky orderlies to come and restrain her while an attending nurse administered a sedative. And Tony just watched. He couldn't do anything else without his legs turning to jelly at the thought that he almost lost her and now he may have lost her anyways. Some irrational part of him was angry that he could walk right and now and she was lying in a hospital bed unable to move. Mostly it just broke his heart to see her on that bed, tossing and turning in fitful sleep.

He swore he would do whatever it took to help her recover.

The only thing he could think of was to let her move in with him once she was released from the hospital. She needed 24 hour supervision for the first while but once they were certain that she would stop biting anyone who tried to help her they released her into the wild with a wheelchair and orders of physical therapy several times a week.

NCIS had given her all the time she needed to be well again but that meant that during the day, she was alone. In Tony's apartment. Alone. She quickly tired of watching movies and staring out the window which was all she'd been reduced to. Every day after Tony left for work she grew more and more frustrated with the silence that filled the room. It wasn't that she missed him – of course not – but it was frustrating to be alone in the apartment with nothing to do but sit there and wait for her spine to heal.

So she tried to speed up the process by injuring herself further. Well no, she was trying to stand but all she was doing to her body was stressing it further which wasn't helping her cause. Tony tried not to say anything about the bruises he found when he was assisting her in the bathing process – she would never admit that she needed help bathing, not to anyone; Tony was no exception no matter how patient he was being. He never said anything about her fitful sleeps where she would wake up crying in the middle of the night. He never said anything when he would come home to find his apartment in shambles because she'd gotten frustrated with herself and thrown whatever he could get his hands on.

But when he came home to find her on the floor at his feet with her wheelchair across the room, crying, he had to speak up.

"Ziva what are you doing?"

"I am healing myself, Tony."

"No, you're not." He sighed, tossing his things in their proper place and bypassing her in favor of grabbing her chair. "You're being stubborn. As usual." He wheeled the chair over to her and held out his hand. "Get up."

She just glared at him. "I don't need your help Tony I can do it by myself."

"I don't believe that for a second." He reached down under her arms to pick her up but she slapped him away. "Come on,"

"Don't tell me to _come on_." She growled, pushing up on her arms. She couldn't get further than this point, seal walking around the apartment, but she'd never admit that to him. "I can do just fine on my own. In fact, I was thinking it was time to move back to my apartment."

"There is no way in hell I'm letting you go like this." He declared, pulling her back onto her chair before she could protest. "You're not ready."

"You cannot control me, Tony!" Lord, she sounded like a petulant child who couldn't get her way. She _was_ a child. She crossed her arms, refusing to look at him.

It didn't matter because he was rolling his eyes and coming around to push her chair. "Until you can function independently I can." Maybe that was a low blow but he was getting so tired of her routine. She'd insisted several times that she was well enough to go home but it was days like these that just cemented his realization that her stubbornness was going to injure her further. He wasn't going to take any risks when it came to her. If that meant saving her from herself then so be it.

"I can function independently if you'd let me." That might not have been as powerful as statement as she meant it but she still folded her arms and refused to look at him so it only agitated him further.

"Sorry my little Ninja, you're still benched."

"Who do you think you are?"

"Excuse me?"

"Who do you think you are, telling me what to do"

"Taking care of you"

"Dictating my every move."

"Helping you."

"You're not my boyfriend." There was the stiffening silence that she avoided all day. She pressed through. "You are not my brother or my father. Not my husband." She could see his clenched jaw, his cold eyes. She'd struck a chord but only part of her cared. If it meant getting out of this chair, she'd say anything. "You're just my co-worker." _Ha, yeah right_, a voice in her head laughed. "What gives you the right to dictate my life?"

"What gives me the" he swallowed to keep from grabbing her shoulders and shaking her until she saw sense. Instead he bent low, grabbing her armrests and startling her with his intensity. "I don't think you've gotten it into your skull yet. _You're in a wheelchair, Ziva_. You can't move your legs. Now that's not forever but right now, what you're doing, is going to injure yourself further. And the people around you…" he softened his gaze when he realized she was shaking. Oh god, he scared even himself. "we just want to see you get better."

"You can't keep me locked in here, Tony." Her voice was so small and she was shaking so fiercely he wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms but that wasn't going to happen until she admitted that she needed him.

"I'm not trying to. You just need to rest your body so you can walk again."

She tilted her chin defiantly and he felt his heart drop down to his stomach. "I can walk. I just need to teach myself how to do it again."

"You think that's all this is?" He would have laughed if the urge to cry and shake her hadn't returned. "Just mind over body?"

"Everything is."

"No." He bent down so he wasn't looming over her but she still looked threatened, like he was some sort of nuisance. Oh well. "It's not, Ziva. You attained major spinal damage when you…" he couldn't bring himself to say 'were hit by a car' but neither could she. "The doctor said if you keep at this you could injure yourself further and the damage" he swallowed "could be permanent."

But she didn't hear that. All she heard was "You spoke to my doctor without me?"

"I'm your emergency contact and I was worried about you."

She pushed his arms away so he nearly fell to the floor but he recovered. Physically. "You went behind my back and talked to my doctor about me."

"I was concerned about your condition."

"My condition?" She scoffed. "I don't have a cold, Tony. I'm paralyzed."

"Finally she admits it." He threw his hands up, pacing the room.

She wheeled around him so he saw her before she disappeared into the bedroom. "Look, Tony it was kind of you to let me stay here but it's time for me to go home."

"You can't go home!" He called out to her. "When are you going to get that?"

She tried to ignore him, she did, but her shaking hands revealed that maybe he'd gotten too far under her skin. She couldn't stomach his words any more than she could keep down her food some days. He wasn't right, he _couldn't _be right. If he was right then she was just accepting defeat and she never did that. It was that same strong will that would get her through this.

Now sitting on the edge of her bed, she released a growl of frustration and hit her wheelchair, sending it flying across the room, toppling over in the corner. Crap.

No, wait, she could do this. This was her chance to prove to Tony – and herself – that she could do this on her own. She wouldn't be dependent on him any longer if she could stand and get her chair. Taking a deep breath she placed her hands firmly on the edge of the bed and prepared to push. She tried wriggling her toes but ignored it when she failed to send any signals down there.

She pushed.

Tony had been sitting on his couch – turned bed – fuming when he heard a loud crash followed by a resounding _thud_ and he knew exactly what had happened. She'd thrown something, probably her chair, and when she tried to rescue herself she'd fallen. It took every ounce of his strength not to go in there and rescue her. But that would only aggravate her further and he wasn't in the mood to fight. That's when he heard it.

"Tony." It was barely a shout but it was enough to have him leaping off the couch and to the doorframe. She was sitting up against the bed, her legs falling limply in front of her. She couldn't face him. Not like this. "Go and get my chair."

That was the last straw. He snapped. "No." Oh she looked at him then, a mixture of confusion, betrayal and maybe a bit of pride for standing his ground. "Get it yourself." Until he said that. Then all he saw was a look of pain like he'd just slapped her in the face.

"What?"

At this point, he didn't care. "You are so adamant that you can _walk_, I'll tell you what: stand up on your own and I will _get_ your wheelchair for you."

She was fuming now, trying so hard not to shout and growl and throw _more_ things. "Fine." She spoke through her teeth, bracing her hands on the floor. She hissed and growled and finally, _finally_ she got a firm grip on the edge of the mattress and flipped her body over. Taking a moment to catch her breath she didn't dare look at him, afraid of seeing his smug little face.

He watched her struggle with tears in his eyes. It was killing him to see her in so much pain but she had to see the truth. He couldn't take much more of this. Watching her try so hard to pull herself to standing. She couldn't. At this angle and with this much adrenaline running through her without any support she kept falling. She lost her grip for the last time and she fell to the floor with a thump, hitting her head on the hardwood floor.

She cried out in pain but didn't make any attempts to move. She lay there on the floor, a crumpled heap of whatever she used to be, hot tears stinging her face. She forgot Tony was there until she felt a gentle hand cradle her neck and pull her up. She met the solid wall of his chest and finally gave in. She had no more strength left. Fisting her hand in his shirt she melted into him, allowing in this one moment to give in to her urge to be held. And he did; he wrapped his arms around her and held her until the tears had soaked through this shirt to his soul and he was close to tears himself. He held her until her tears subsided and all he could feel was the steady rise and fall of her chest. Once he was certain she was asleep he gently lifted her in his arms, weighed down by his heavy heart, and placed her on the bed. Tucking her in and kissing her tear-stained cheek. Then he spared a glance at the fallen chair in the corner and he let out a tired sigh before dutifully returning the wheelchair to its place at her bed side.

With one last glance at his sleeping warrior, he closed the door and let her sleep through the evening and into the night.

The next morning, Ziva rolled out into the living room to find Tony already wide away and dishing pancakes onto a plate. He looked away but the bags under his eyes told her he'd barely slept. Her resolved wavered and she was so tempted to ask how he was but then he spotted her and smiled and chipper attitude only strengthened her resolve.

"Morning Tony." She spoke curtly and watched his face fall.

"Morning, Ziva." He tried to smile, indicating the plate in his hand. "I made pancakes." She didn't smile back and he faltered. "Listen, about last night"

"Just a moment of weakness, I assure you." She spoke sharply, cutting even her armor. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

She jumped when he slammed the plate onto the table top and closed his eyes. He couldn't think straight right now. "I have to go to work." He declared, passing her by in an effort to keep from pushing his partner down a flight of stairs. He loved her but this stubborn streak of hers was causing him more sleepless nights than he could count. He needed to be gone. Now.

"Tony."

He paused at the front door but couldn't find the strength to turn around and face her. He couldn't face her right now. Not when he was so close to breaking. "Goodbye Ziva." It sounded so final to both of them but maybe it was. He pulled out his phone as he stepped into the elevator and made a phone call.

Ziva opened the door in the afternoon and tried to hide her disappointment when she saw her dear friend. "Shmeil what are you doing here?"

"No hug and kiss for your friend?" He bent down to wrap his arms around her, hiding his distress better than she was. "You looked disappointed to see me."

"No," she assured quickly, "I was just expecting someone else."

He rolled with her into the kitchen where the plate of pancakes still sat on the counter. "You were expecting Tony."

She paused. "He called you."

She wheeled faster around the kitchen area into the living rooms so she could hide in the corner. Shmeil followed. "He's worried about you."

"He doesn't need to worry about me." She folded her arms and stared out the window. "I'm fine."

He clicked his tongue and came to her side. This powerful, beautiful woman who looked so thin and frail in that chair. It broke his heart. But he saw what Tony saw: dangerous determination that scared him. "Neshama," he touched her hand and she didn't flinch away. But she wanted to. "Tony cares for you. He doesn't want to see you hurt anymore. And neither do I; why did you not tell me about your injury."

She looked at him with frustrated tears threatening the edges of her eyelashes but they didn't dare fall. "You have been so good to me since my father's passing. And before that." She shook her head with a sad smile. "You have been the best teacher; I have learned so much." She looked away, sadly. "I could not bear for you to see me so _weak_.

"Ziva" he squeezed her hand so she had to look at him "needing someone is not weak. It is so brave." Her hands were shaking so hard but he only held them tighter. "Admitting to Tony that you need help will not be easy but he needs you, too."

Tony took a breath before opening the door that night. He'd been off his game all day, distracted and irritable and at one point, Gibbs almost sent him home but the thought of having to deal with Ziva for those extra hours had him smartening up. _Man up DiNozzo_, he thought in his Gibbs voice. _It's just Ziva_. Somehow, that didn't help. Taking one last deep breath, he turned the knob and stepped into the next layer of hell. What he saw had him dropping his bag in the doorway. "Ziva?"

There she was only a few feet away, standing. Her face had lost all colour with the effort to keep herself upright but she was _standing_ in front of him, her chair within arm's reach. She was standing. He couldn't breathe.

"Tony?" He snapped out of his revere to her calling his name with a terrified expression. She was trying to smile but the effort to keep her numb limbs from collapsing on each other was almost too much. "Tony. I need you."

And then her legs gave way beneath her and she was falling, crumbling, just like all the other times. Except this time, he caught her. He cradled her head and held her back to keep her from losing her balance and he _caught _her. Her breath lodged in her throat on the way down and now all she could do was stare up at him; those bright eyes watching her with such awe and concern like last night hadn't happened. "Anything you need."

She startled out of her thoughts. Anything? _Him_, a voice shouted_ all you need is him_. She did smile this time. "I need you…to be patient with me. I'm not used to asking for help." She brought her arms up around his neck. _For balance_. No one believed that. "I can be…rather stubborn at times. Forgive me?"

His heart was doing summersaults. Holding her _and_ hearing her admit that she needed him? This was some level of heaven. "It's alright" he smirked "I'm starting to like your stubborn streak. It's kind of cute."

She did laugh at this, offering a swift kick to his shin which they both felt, as light as it was.

Wait.

Their eyes widened and the world stopped for just a breath. That was all it took.

"You moved your leg."

"I felt it."

Yup, he was doing summersaults. Her face lit up with delight and she let out a joyful cry of laughter, tugging him closer. She looked so beautiful when she smiled, he'd almost forgotten what she looked like. With a matching grin, he pulled her up and pressed his lips roughly to hers in celebration.

It took all of two seconds before he realized that he was kissing Ziva David and she wasn't maiming _or_ mangling for stepping over some imaginary boundary. Better than that. She pulled him at his neck and kept him as close as possible at this angle. She deepened the kiss and pressed sweet drops of laughter in between. They pulled back just enough to stare into each other's eyes and read the heart-pounding joy that danced there. With near tears in her eyes, she tried once again to move her leg but found herself still numb.

"I can't move my legs anymore."

Before the defeat could take over Tony pressed his lips to hers again and whispered "we'll work on it" Before kissing her again. Finally she shrugged, giving herself over to the kiss. They'd definitely work on it.


	27. Ani Ohev OtachAni Ohevet Otcha

**I'm wondering if you guys got my story yesterday. Please review if you did. This one is admittedly very short - especially compared to yesterday - but it doesn't need as many words. I wanted it to be just them. **

**So...this is it. Wow. I can't believe I made it all 26 days. You guys have been so awesome, I'm glad I wrote this story. And don't worry, even after Tiva leaves the screen I'll manage to find some love stories for them. As long as you guys keep supporting me. I'm so grateful for the support and it was a pleasure writing with you. Stay awesome and I'll see you later with more stories.**

** Enjoy!**

**You can follow me on twitter** vatrask **or on my writing blog:** madamewriterofwrongs. blogspot. com

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**Ani Ohev Otach** (man to woman)/**Ani Ohevet Otcha** (woman to man) - I love you

"I, Anthony DiNozzo, take you, Ziva David, to be my partner in all things. When you fell into my life some people say I changed for the better – don't snort it's true. Truth is: the moment I met you I was lost. You have bewitched me heart and soul."

"You stole that."

"Shut up I'm trying to be sentimental."

"Sorry."

"We've never been good at expressing our feelings but…I love you, Ziva. There isn't an inch of me that doesn't."

"That's a double negative."

"Shush. You are so…_stubborn_. And reckless. Your violent tendencies are concerning to say the least. I swear sometimes we're from different planets. But, like Clark Kent, you are so amazing – _Super _even – and I am happy to be your Louis Lane if it means I get to fall asleep with you every night. Today I pledge my life to you. To love, honour and cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health; until death do we part."

She melted. "Oh Tony"

"Now you go."

"I, Ziva David, take you, Anthony DiNozzo to be my partner in all things. Today I pledge my life to you. To love, honour, and cherish, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health; until death do we part."

"You just said our regular vows. I thought we were writing our own."

"I tried so hard to find the words to express my love for you but I couldn't. Those ones come close. You are already my partner in so many ways and this is…this is the biggest one. In all the years there's never been anyone who came close to being _the one_ that I want to marry. And then there's you and all I could ever think about with you was being with you. You're right. We've never been good with words. Maybe if we we're this would have happened sooner. But I'm glad that we took our time. All of the little things just made me love you even more. Except that you leave the cap off the toothpaste but we'll work on that."

He took the laughter from the audience as an opportunity to lean in close and whisper "You're no angel, either."

"No I'm not." She continued with her speech "And I'm not Super Woman either. I am a woman who loves a man. And I'm standing here today, in front of our friends, to pledge my life to you. No matter what. You're _it_, Tony."

"I thought you couldn't find the words."

"I find them when they count."

"True enough."

"Ani Ohevet Otcha." That had been her favourite Hebrew phrase to teach him.

"Ani Ohev Otach." They were so close now, hands intertwined, eyes explore lips, eager to be touched. All they wanted to do was kiss.

The minister cleared his throat and the couple looked at him, blushing. "If I may continue?"

Tony nodded, "Of course."

"Thank you. Now, by the power vested in me, by the District of Columbia, I now pronounce you husband and wife" he never finished his sentence, interrupted by the eager man and wife who flew to each other in a sweet, lingering kiss filled with the sweetest sense of _finally_.


End file.
